Home Sweet Home (1981)

Episode 195, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of two guys in the chainsaw, Todd, and I’m Craig. Happy Thanksgiving. Craig, 

Craig: Happy Thanksgiving. Todd. 

Todd: can you believe we managed to find a Thanksgiving horror movie this year? 

Craig: Well, I mean, there are a handful of them out there, but it is slim Pickens. So 

Todd: like last year, I feel like we hit gold with blood rage, which to this date is still among my friends.

Top five favorite episodes that we’ve ever done. It was a pretty good one, and I enjoyed watching that movie so much. I, I’ve actually returned back to it a couple times. It’s one of those, so bad, it’s good horror movies and all the right ways. And, uh, this movie, I dunno, I’m about to put it in that same category.

The movie that we’re talking about is home sweet home. It was done in 1981. The only real directing credit for a woman named Nettie. Pena and as multiple reviews online. Love to point out, this is the only Thanksgiving horror movie directed by a woman, which is really easy to say because there are almost no Thanksgiving horror movies out there.

But you know, 

Craig: we’ll give her, brought it. And there aren’t a whole lot of horror movies directed by women. So when I read that, I was, I don’t know if excited to the right word, but pleased. It’s nice to. To see a horror movie directed by a woman. We, well, we’ve done a few, you know, Mary Lambert did pet cemetery and we’ve done a couple of others, but it’s, it’s somewhat rare.

So it’s refreshing. 

Todd: It is. And so, I dunno, I’m, it’ll be interesting as we talk about this to see if there’s kind of a different perspective behind the camera that we can detect based on that. Does she do something kind of, I don’t know. What do we expect? Really? Do we expect a woman behind the camera is going to be so much different from a man?

Like she’s going to automatically bring some feminist perspective to everything? Maybe that’s unfair, you know? Maybe it’s unfair to say, yeah, you just got to have to judge the movie on its merits no matter who’s who’s directed it. Right. And then it’s written by a guy named Thomas Bush, who I looked up and happened to be a sound editor on evil dead too.

Craig: And that’s, I didn’t know that 

Todd: that’s the only other real IMDV credit he has. So, and that’s interesting because this movie reminded me a lot actually of blood rage in that it, I don’t know, I just, it felt a little similar in its hilariousness and its ineptitude and it was put out about the same time.

Also, blood rage had the involvement of at least one of the, one of the Raimi guys who had a bit part in it. I think it was Ted Raimi. Right. Then this movie, you know, has a little bit of a connection to evil dead too. And I think, like I’ve said before, I feel like at this time period, that’s like 78 to 1981 it seemed like there was this group of people who worked on these little movies that we kind of love so much that went out and we’re doing all of these little horror projects and some of them were really good and some of them were really hilariously bad, and some of them, nobody’s remembered anymore.

Another intruder was another one, right? That we had a bit of the Raimi brothers involved, and that was around, I think it was 1980 1981 or at least it was filmed then, but it wasn’t released until later. So anyway, I kind of in my head, wanted to put this movie in the same camp. And the one thing about this film that is really stood out to me, and I didn’t even know it until we started watching it, I immediately recognized the main actor was body by Jake.

Yeah. Jake. Um, what’s his name? Jake Stein. Fi Steinfeld, 

Craig: who 

Todd: during the 80s when we were growing up was, uh, he was on TV. He was . On Saturday morning stuff. He must’ve had a TV show, I think. Yeah. He was one of these fitness guys, right? Like when fitness was kinda hot and hip and, and he was in this dumb horror movie.

Craig: And I, I’ve read that he has no sense of humor about it. Like, 

Todd: like he 

Craig: would just rather really not talk about it. That’s hilarious. 

Todd: I can kind of understand that. Especially, you know, we’ve talked about this before. If you’re an actor, you’re really putting yourself on the line. You’re really putting yourself in the director and editor’s hands that they’re gonna make you look good.

And I kind of have to say that, I mean, as bad as his movie is. It also makes him look really, really silly. Yeah. He’s got the same look plastered on his face throughout the entire film. 

Craig: Oh my gosh. And he’s either just breathing really heavily or maniacally laughing. That’s it. Yeah, like the whole time.

There’s no range of emotion. Like spoiler alert at the end, he gets stabbed in the back with a butcher knife and he keeps still running around for 

Todd: hours, for hours, like until the next morning. Apparently. With a knife sticking out of his back. It’s so goofy. The other kind of cute and charming dated thing about this movie is our killer who is him, is an escaped mental patient high on PCP.

Craig: Yeah. Does anybody 

Todd: ever talk about PCP anymore? Like whatever happened to PCP? 

Craig: What did ever happen to PCP. All the crazy people were on it in the eighties night. You just don’t hear anything 

Todd: about it. No. Come on. Somebody bring PCP back. I was thinking, I just remember in the 80s people like were like, Oh man, people on PCP, they can like lift cars.

They’re like insane. Like they keep going when their body shuts down, like they’re super dangerous and cops are getting killed. Just pulling them over and all this. Whatever happened to it. 

Craig: I don’t know. I just, you had to be real careful in the 80s cause you never knew somebody was going to like the lace your drink with PCB

and make you go 

Todd: crazy. 

Craig: Crazy. It was bad news. 

Todd: But in this movie, 

Craig: certainly bad news for this guy. 

Todd: Yeah, for sure. Like he wasn’t doing himself any favors. Uh, and in this movie, he injects it. There’s like an injection seat. So I mean, the movie starts out with just a car driving down the road and pulls over something, and some guy stabs.

The dude through the window and takes over the car and then sits in the car and proceeds to inject PCP into the tongue. Did you look this up? I’m just really curious about the NCP now I use it. I don’t know. It was so bizarre and even the syringe he was using look really weird to me. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know.

I guess you can’t, can you lace a drink with PCP or do you have to inject it into your tongue? 

Craig: I don’t know. I’ll have to. I’ll have to look into that for my future PCP. Lacey, I’m, 

Todd: I’m gonna look, I’m gonna, I’m looking it up right now. I gotta look at the angel dust. Oh yeah. That’s what it was. Eight PCP angel dust.

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. So yeah, there’s that opening scene, which you know, is somewhat promising because, uh, literally 10 seconds into the movie, you’ve got your first kill. I mean, it’s the very first thing that happens, and then he injects the PCP under his tongue. Oh. Which looks horribly uncomfortable. 

Todd: It does. And by the way, I just looked it up.

PCP is, Y is available in a variety of tablets. Capsules and colored powders, which are either smoked, taken orally or snorted. So. Oh, 

Craig: see, inaccuracy, kid can’t tolerate that 

Todd: right off the bat. This movie, 

Craig: the end, 

Todd: it’s totally 

Craig: unrealistic. 

Todd: Maybe that’s why he has a crazy, he’s totally doing it wrong, maybe.

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. So he kills that guy. And then, uh, he just, again, maniacally laughing the whole time goes driving around and. Um, classic runs down the old lady crossing the street. 

Todd: With her groceries, whose, who drives her grocery bag in the middle of the street stops to pick them up. Yeah. 

Craig: I mean, and she’s like totally this stereotypical little old lady like scooting across the street and she sees them kind of millions, I don’t know.

Then he just nails there and she flies up on the hood and there’s blood all over the windshield and blood all over the hood of the car and then you get the title home sweet home. 

Todd: So sweet. This guy gets away with a lot, like, I don’t know where the cops are, but he knocked that woman over in the middle of a busy intersection and never bothered to clean that blood off of his car.

Craig: Exactly. He drives around with that bright red light on the white car for God knows how long and. Yeah, 

Todd: I guess the cops just 

Craig: didn’t notice. I don’t know, but that’s okay. So, and then what happens is we’re introduced to this hodgepodge group of people. I think there are like nine of them, way too many. And I.

Was desperately trying to catch all of their names, because like, if you look at the IMDP page, you know, it lists the characters and the actors or whatever, but only like two or three of them even have head shots on there. I mean, these aren’t big name people. Um, and even the ones who have head shots, this movie’s old enough that you can barely identify them from their current head shot.

Um, and there is nobody that. I really knew. I mean, I didn’t put the whole body by Jake thing together until I read about it, and then when I read about it, I was like, Oh yeah, that guy. Totally remember that guy. He looks like I’m Lou Ferrigno. Kind of. Yeah, he does. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And that’s, that’s what I, that’s what I wrote in my notes.

Lou Ferrigno type kills guy in car. Um, and then there are a couple of other folks, uh, who have been in some movies that you’ve seen, you know, I don’t even remember now. There’s a guy named Don admins, a guy named Charles. Hoyas um, who have been in some stuff. Who did you know, some one of these guys? I don’t remember which one it is.

I’m trying to pull him up now. Was actually in some, uh, pretty big stuff. Um, 

Todd: you’re probably for the 

Craig: most part there. You know what? Who am I thinking of? 

Todd: Charles hoists. Charles boys. He played Wayne. Okay. Now, do you remember who Wayne was? 

Craig: Yeah, he was like cash. I, I hate to, you know, identify people by their ethnicity.

Cause who cares? You know, what their ethnicity is. But sometimes that’s their only discernible quality. You know, in a, in a cast this big, he was like the Hispanic guy, I’m 

Todd: not even sure. Sure he is Hispanic. 

Craig: I don’t know. I don’t know if he is or not either, but his girlfriend definitely is in the movie. Um, and he’s a little bit darker complected, I don’t know.

But yeah, he was in field of dreams and, uh, space jam and some others. 

Todd: A lot of television. Right? Yeah. He’s been in a lot of stuff. 

Craig: Frankly. The person who I am most familiar with from this movie is, uh, Vanessa Shaw, who plays the little girl, and she’s the only got like two lines, and one of them is I have to go to the bathroom and she says like 15 times.

But she was, uh, the T she’s been in lots of things and she’s been in like some big, or movies, um, like 30 days of night, I think she was in, and some, some other big things. . Yeah. Which that was a brutal movie. But, uh, I remember her, she was the teen romantic lead and Hocus Pocus, which, you know, this is a horror movie podcast.

But when we were asking for Halloween, uh, recommendations, somebody said, you could always just do Hocus Pocus. And I didn’t know if they were joking or not. And I said, I responded back, I love Hocus focus, and they wrote back, yeah, me too. It’s a great Halloween movie, and that’s what I know her from, and she’s teeny tiny in this movie.

Um, but beyond that, it’s just kind of a bunch of generic looking, moderately attractive. Eighties folks. I mean, that’s just it. And a bunch of them. So many, like I couldn’t keep track of them and, okay, so it’s Thanksgiving, you know, this is our big Thanksgiving movie. And, um, they’re apparently getting together for Thanksgiving, but I, for the life of me could not understand how these people were related to one another.

Todd: Yeah. It was hard to figure that out. 

Craig: There was, some of them were family and some of them weren’t, but I couldn’t tell who was and who wasn’t. And frankly, it doesn’t really matter. I feel like the whole purpose of having so many of them was just so that they could pick one off every. Five or 10 minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd: Basically that’s it. And, and people don’t really seem to notice or even care all that much for most of the movie that both folks just keep disappearing. This is, this is the craziest Thanksgiving ever, because it shows a lot of promise. At first, we’re taken to this ranch house, which is a. I don’t mean just like a single, you know, floor dwelling, like we call a ranch house.

I mean, we’re out in New Mexico or something and this house has like a courtyard in the middle and the rooms are all kind of connected by a hallway all around it. So you can go out to the courtyard and get into almost any room through a door that leads out to the courtyard. 

Craig: But then again, it’s also like a complex, because one of the guys, Scott is apparently a tenant of the guy who owns it, which is his name’s Harold Bradley, but they just call him Bradley, or they call him Brad, uh, and he lives like in an apartment like.

In one wing of this place or upstairs or something, and he’s brought his girlfriend there. And then I feel like the rest of them are kinda supposed to be related in some way. I, I don’t know. Uh, there’s Wayne, um, and he has a girlfriend named Maria who is really kind of hilarious. Like. She’s, she, she speaks some English, but she’s, she’s Charo basically,

but like really bad char. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s almost unfortunate kind of comic relief that we get from her. It’s very, but the funny thing is it’s so inept. You can’t really be offended at it. She’s supposed to be the woman who barely speaks any English and runs around. Playing her guitar very poorly singing, sadly, like not even like she’s just strumming an open guitar.

It reminds me, what’s that horror movie? I can’t remember. We watched her. If I just watched it myself. Self where somebody is doing sign language the whole time and the actor didn’t know sign language, and so they just started moving their hands around and it’s just a horrible thing to do. You know?

That’s how this woman is like, she just not even pretending to badly play the guitar. She just doesn’t just strums. 

Craig: Yeah. Pretty funny. And then there are a couple of other. Chicks. There’s like a Linda, I think, and Gail and, and then there’s Bradley, the main guy, and then there’s Bradley’s son. Who is he literally named mistake.

I think that’s his name. I mean, that’s the only thing they ever call him. I’m so weird. And he’s so weird, like he’s kinda like this. I couldn’t tell if he was going for. Like kiss army, I think salt  that’s what I decided. But he’s also like, who is that famous mime? Like Marcel Marceau or whatever his name, cause 

Todd: he does magic at some 

Craig: point.

Yeah. That was definitely the vibe that he was giving me. And he runs around in, you know. With his face totally covered in white makeup the whole time and carrying around this electric guitar and he’s just super annoying and like, it seems like that’s just like his job in life is to just pester people.

Oh wow. My lucky day two for the price of one I’ve got, you know, Scott, will you get the hell out of here? This your last time. Oh, I think the complication is developing. You get a rain check.

And everybody hates him and is totally open about it.

And plus I couldn’t gauge at all how old he was supposed to be. He didn’t seem that much younger than the other ones. In fact, he’s like hitting on Maria the whole movie. I don’t know. I mean, I guess maybe they’re supposed to be, or his dad’s supposed to be in his forties and he’s supposed to be like a late teenager.

Maybe early twenties I don’t know. It’s just such kind of a bizarre cast of characters and you don’t really get much sense of what their relationships are. They’re just all there and they’re making Turkey. 

Todd: Well, I’ve got a feeling that he didn’t even know what his character was supposed to be because alternative live and he’s running around with his guitar and he’s playing his electric guitar to annoy people, and he has a backpack, I guess with a.

He must have some batteries or something in there. It doesn’t actually make, I’m not even sure this is physically possible without a little bit more getup than he had, but he has a good a backpack with an amp on it and it’s plugged into his guitar and it conveniently disappears and reappears on him from shot to shot.

But then there’s scenes where he’s literally miming he’s doing mine basically. Then there’s a scene where he’s. Doing magic tricks with his hands. 

Craig: Yeah. Like slight of hand stuff. The actually I wish there, there is no, I couldn’t find any kind of trivia or anything about this movie. You know, the, the best I could find was reviews, but I, I wish that there had been trivia because his slight of hand work is actually pretty good.

Like, I wonder. I wonder if this guy, you know, was a magician because it was, it was good stuff. I mean, it’s, it’s a minute and a half of the movie, but it’s some good slight of hand work that he’s doing there. 

Todd: It’s maybe one of the more entertaining parts of the movie actually. So he runs around and they do all this.

What’s kind of frustrating is it’s like, um. It seems like the movie’s trying very hard to give you a sense of these characters, but either they’re so stupid or it’s just so dumb that you, you don’t, you don’t get invested in them at all. There’s a whole sequence that I think is supposed to be really funny, where this guy mistake runs around and causes havoc across the whole compound.

I mean, he’s in the kitchen and he’s playing his guitar and people are getting annoyed at him, so somebody starts chasing him and then he walks in on, is it Harold and his girlfriend who are starting to have sex and he just 

Craig: jumps at 

Todd: his dad? Yeah, just walks in on them like he does it all the time to be annoying.

Plays his guitar and his dad starts chasing him, and then he bumped somebody in the kitchen as he runs through and they start chasing them. And then there’s this dumb chase scene where almost every character in the movie is running around chasing him around a table, the Thanksgiving table, uh, and talking about what a pain in the ass he is.

But this goes on for way too long, 

Craig: right? And then, so we’re getting introduced to all these people. Meanwhile. Jay, I feel like he killed somebody else on the way there, but. I don’t remember if he like sees one of the women or a couple of the women like  or something. Yeah. Driving by and he follows them and any follows them back to their compound.

And this really is the biggest problem that I have with this movie is that the villain has no motive. Like he’s just crazy. That’s it. Like there’s. It could have been anybody that he stumbled upon. Yeah. And I suppose for a slasher movie, that’s fine, whatever. But usually there’s some sort of motivation, some connection between, uh, the killer and at least one of the victims.

And here there’s not, it’s just he happens upon this group of people and he just starts picking them off. Yeah, and I don’t know. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s low budget and it looks it and, uh, it’s 

Todd: hard to see a lot of what’s going on. It’s really, 

Craig: really dark in places. It reminded me in some places of that scene in PeeWee’s big adventure where it’s like totally black, but you can just see his eyeballs

and then the lights come in and he’s like surrounded by like wolves and stuff. That’s what it reminded me of because I just had to guess what was going on. Now, to be fair, I watched this on YouTube, so I’m sure it was a bad transfer. 

Todd: Could be a better print out there. 

Craig: Maybe, but I read that this movie is so underwhelming that it’s never even been given a DVD release, so you can find it on YouTube for free if you want to watch it.

Um, and I read that you can also buy bootleg DVD copies there, just from the video print, uh, on Amazon. So, um, it’s out there. It’s available, but, uh, the quality is. Pretty low. 

Todd: Yeah. And that’s disappointing cause I do feel like cause blood rage ha had such nice. Photography, even though the rest of the movie was so hilarious that at least it was watchable in that way.

And this movie became kind of unwatchable at times because you just don’t know what’s going on. And some of that was the photography and the lighting, and some of it just had to do with the fact that it was just poorly staged and they’re cutting from thing to thing. And you don’t really have a sense of where anybody is in this compound.

And it suffers a little bit from that thing where. Here’s a bunch of people and a bunch of stuff is going on and suddenly the killers around and then a bunch of other stuff happens, and suddenly the killers around you don’t get a feeling like he’s stalking or he’s going from place to place, or just what the geography of all of this is.

You know, it’s just, he pops up when we want to seem where he’s going to kill somebody. Uh, so there’s no real tension. There’s no real suspense. In any of this, I, I think anyway, 

Craig: it also suffers, you know, because it, it makes use of some of the most ridiculous horror movie tropes. Like they just keep presenting reasons for these people.

To splinter off, like, like dumb reasons, like, Oh shoot, we forgot to get the wine. Oh, okay. Well Linda and Gail will run off together and get the wine, and then, Oh shoot, the power went out. I guess I’ll have to go out and start the generator, or I’ll have to go out and find some fire wood. Like just.

Ridiculous reasons for them to get split off, and by the second or third time it happens, you know that, okay, well they’re dead now. It’s just a reason to get them alone or in pairs so that Jay can take them out. Yeah. Um, to be fair, I feel like they tried at least to be somewhat creative. Uh, in some of the kills, but really it just ended up being more hilarious than anything else.

There are two that are my favorite, but one of my favorites is J the bad guy. The killer cuts off the power. Brad, who’s the guy that owns the place, lives there, and so he starts up the emergency generator, but he says that, um, he’s afraid that it’ll run out of gas and just a few hours, so he’s going to go off to the gas station.

Uh, to get more gas. And he pulls up on the killer’s car, which I guess is blocking the road. So like, he shouts for five seconds to see if anybody’s around, and then he siphons off their gas and like, 

Todd: really? That’s 

Craig: right. I guess this was the 80s and people did that, 

Todd: put it, put it in the same category as PCP, you know?

Craig: Right. And so he siphons off the gas of this. Car that he doesn’t know who is it is, but then he gets back in his Jeep and all of these cars have problems. All of these people need to get new cars because there are like every day like, Oh shoot, I forgot to tell Linda that my gas gauge doesn’t work. I hope they don’t run out of 

Todd: gas.

Craig: That’s what they do. Um, but anyway, so then after he siphons the gas, Brad gets back into his Jeep and it won’t start, uh, cause it’s got a bad battery, which he’s established earlier. So he goes back to the station wagon and. Starts to take out the battery and he’s leaning under the hood of the car and from out of frame.

Here comes Jay, the killer flying into frame like a fricking linebacker and body slams the car. And crushes Bradley underneath it. And I thought, and that’s it. Like that kills him. And I just thought that was so funny. 

Todd: It’s just intense every time it’s like he, it’s like every time he kills somebody, it’s like he just shot up on a new batch of PCP or whatever he had to do.

Cause it’s just, 

Craig: cause not only does he fly into frame, but he flies into frame like.

Todd: Cackling hysterically. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Well, I have to say, actually, I thought that that there were a couple of the kill scenes that actually bothered me, and I think, well, we’ll probably talk about them, but, but this one didn’t. I think they were just so poorly filmed. And so, um, without drama. The end, they lingered for long enough that it actually felt maybe like a little Snuffy.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, um, there’s a scene where, okay, so Wayne eventually, what’s his name? No, not Wayne mistake eventually gets it. He gets electrocuted by his own. Um. Guitar guitar. 

Craig: That was the other one that I thought was pretty hilarious that it’s later in the movie, but I don’t even understand it.

Like it doesn’t even make sense to me. I don’t understand how. Jay electrocuted him with his own guitar. Now, I didn’t even notice the backpack with a generator or batteries. I didn’t even notice that, but I don’t recall him having it on at that point. And you know, he’s just running around and like, did J a like grab an open wire or something?

Yeah, 

Todd: no, it, it actually made no sense. Um, he pulled a wire off of his guitar and stuck it onto his guitar. And another wire off of his, I don’t know it, you know, it absolutely made no sense, but it, it was hot enough to melt the strings off the guitar. They got white hot and melted in their sparks and there’s smoke and you know, and it wasn’t actually the sort of overacting you usually get with electrocution.

You know where somebody who’s just jerking violently, it’s a mess. It’s how I imagined probably an electric Houston kind of goes is like you just sort of seize up and all your muscles spasm a little bit, but it just lingered a little 

Craig: bit, a little bit so 

Todd: too long on that, and I don’t know what it was. I don’t know if you felt the same way, but I watched it and I was kind of like, Ooh, that’s a little, that’s a little troubling.

It felt a little Snuffy to me 

Craig: because it was so out there and plausible. Yeah. 

Todd: I think I was looking at his face. That’s what it was. I was just looking at his face in the acting and, and that’s what got me about it. 

Craig: I the one I guess like, and you know, lots of stuff happens. Like the phones die. Linda and Gail are lost.

They flirt with some cops. Like there’s all kinds of enters essential things. But at one point, Wayne goes out to look for everybody who’s still gone. He’s mad because he can’t watch the football game. Okay? So dumb. But, um, he goes out to look for everybody else and he’s in his car and we see that, uh,J  is in the back seat of the car and.

Jay strangles Wayne, like kinda groats him, I guess. Yeah. The thing that bothered me about that, when it didn’t really bother me, it just kind of surprised me was it just looked like what real strangulation would look like. Now, usually in a movie like this, whatever he was, uh, strangling him with would cut into his skin and there’d be all kinds of blood and it would be a big struggle with like eyes bulging and tongue hanging out 

Todd: and.

Craig: Yeah, no, I mean, this one that just looked like he choked him to death. So I kind of get what you’re saying, but the movie overall was just so ridiculous that I wasn’t moved and plus I didn’t care. Oh, any of these characters? No, 

Todd: they’re not even endearing. Not a single one. 

Craig: No. I was just, I was more interested in like how like, okay, obviously he’s going to die.

So how 

Todd: poor Lyndon Gail, here’s the interesting thing. So we have that, that scene that happens earlier where the. It starts out as a thanks. Okay. We got to talk about how it’s kind of a Thanksgiving movie, right? So it’s cool because as soon as we’re introduced to these characters, we’re in their house and everybody’s actually preparing the Thanksgiving meal.

And so there’s all this activity happening in the kitchen, and then they convene in a room and have a bunch of stupid dialogue, which we kind of talked about earlier, and two of the girls decide that they need to go out and get some wine, so they go out and get some wine. And then shortly thereafter. Um, Bradley like the, the power flickers for some reason because Jay cut it.

And so Bradley goes out the, the thing with the car and the generator and all that. And then another couple goes off to bang, I think. And then Jennifer, Jennifer and Scott Bradley gets killed. The two girls I think may get killed at that point. And then it’s just Wayne and his girlfriend and the Hispanic gal.

And, and. The dude. 

Craig: Okay. Some really good, just scriptions. 

Todd: I can’t remember their names. They go in and, and the little girl, right? The little girl who just disappears, disappears forever and finally reappears and they find angel. They’re looking for angel and they find her underneath the Thanksgiving table.

And through no way I could fathom and or explain. There is an entire table set up with a lot of food on it, like the whole Thanksgiving meal somehow has been prepared and set on the table. By who, I have no idea 

Craig: because before they set it up, because everybody kept talking about how hungry they were because all of these people had gone off and then they still haven’t come back.

And we’re late into the night at this point. And that’s, and that’s what, uh, Wayne, when he left right before he got strangled, he’s like, I’m going out to find them and have the food on the day when I get back, we’re eating. And then that, that whole thing with angel is so funny because it’s such a random scene.

But Jay, the killer is watching her from outside. And I thought this was so bizarre. He’s looking at her from outside and she’s standing on a chair at the table holding a huge kitchen knife for her head. And I’m like, what is happening? And then like they realize that they don’t know where the little kid is.

I don’t know why in this moment they become concerned or maybe there was a noise or something and they go and the food, like the Turkey’s all messed up and they looked down and they see her legs sticking out from under the table. It looks like she’s dead and I thought, Oh my gosh, I didn’t think this movie was going to go there.

Like I thought the little girl would. You know, make it, and it looks like she’s dead, but it turns out she just got so hungry. She hacked into the Turkey. It isn’t sitting good, or they’re eating the Turkey leg. She’s like the wild woman of Borneo. Like she just got hugged the Vitner had her mouth 

Todd: surrounded by pieces of it and bones and stuff.

Yeah. It’s hilarious, but, but how did all that food get there? How did all that get on the tape? Everybody’s off doing their own thing. It’s late in the evening and a few of these leftover people decide, well, I sure hope there’s food leftover. It like nobody actually came back to assemble the Thanksgiving dinner except for these four when they get there.

Somebody throughout the night has somehow prepared this entire banquet for them and left it on the table. Yeah. And that’s what he does, his magic and does his miming and all this weird stuff. And we’re down to like these four plus the little girl, right? 

Craig: Well, yeah. Okay. So it’s so funny cause like mistake is flirting with Maria all the time.

And um, there’s a, there’s a part where they jam. I loved that part too, Maria. Just strumming her acoustic guitar, you know, with no Mellie or anything. And ms sake, like trying to. Follow along on his electric guitar and they’re making up a song. The other is pretty funny. The song your night,

they may be done,

but then he’s trying to be all like chivalrous. And I see, I don’t even remember where this falls cause they’re sitting at the table to eat at this point and he’s trying to serve her food and he dumps like cranberry sauce all over her and she gets all mad and storms off. And the dialogue in this whole movie is so.

Bad. Like when, uh, he spills the sauce on her and she jumps up and freaks out. Oh, I’m sorry. Please

take her to the bathroom and wash that stuff off. Give her one of your tee shirts in my bathroom and you can clean up please.

She’s so mad and I can’t believe it. What does that even mean? 

Todd: No idea. It was hilarious. 

Craig: And so then, uh. Is she Maria’s cleaning up in the bathroom and she finds dead. Linda in there. Linda and Gail had gotten killed. Gail got pushed onto a rock. Her head got smashed on a rock and, uh, Linda got stabbed with the broken wine bottle.

And Maria finds, um, Linda in the bathroom and then she gets stabbed. I, no, no, no. She gets like taken hostage for a second and finds them in his begging and he’s like, please, please, please, I’ll do anything. I’ll play my guitar for you. I’ll do some magic. Please 

Todd: take me, not her. Oh my God. And he’s like 

Craig: inches away from him.

Todd: Just chasing him through the area. It’s so weird. This scene, 

Craig: and Jay who has not. Really spoken to the whole movie. All of a sudden it’s like, ah, women are no good. They’ll bring in nothing but trouble and, and then he kills her. But 

Todd: when he kills her, doesn’t he say something like 

Craig: they shouldn’t be living in opioids cause you problems, man.

I didn’t even notice. I was probably looking at Facebook at that point. So bored. 

Todd: So bored. 

Craig: But it’s, 

Todd: it’s so weird, but it’s somewhere in this process, isn’t it? That he ends up with a knife in his back? 

Craig: Doesn’t she end up, no, no, not yet. Happened. Right now we’ve got only J Jennifer and angel left and Jay goes out for some firewood and he finds dead Maria, but they think that mistake did it, which seems like a stretch, I guess, except for that.

He was the last guy we saw with 

Todd: her or whatever. I know what you’re talking about, Scott and, and Jennifer. 

Craig: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sorry. And she’s dead. And like. They are not particularly concerned. Like they like they are so calm, like they are not freaking out at all. And, and just the terrible dialogue where like they’re sitting there with this kid, this little girl, and Scott says to her, Oh, I never would’ve thought that you would have been a.

Good mother, and she’s like, I know me either, but it just feels so natural to care for a child who wrote this. This is the stupidest shit 

Todd: I’ve ever heard. Thomas Bush wrote this. That sounded wrong, evil dead to 

Craig: the kid. Like the kid, she just ki I got to go to the bathroom. He gotta go to the bathroom and the girl’s like, you don’t you just wet.

I got to go to the bathroom. So they keep taking her to the bathroom and. They’re just hanging out in front of the fire and like, and they’re like, it’s at one point Jennifer, even literally when the is like, hi, can I go to the bathroom? Jennifer’s like, I am not leaving this fire.

So Scott tinctures back, 

Todd: he does.

Craig: So, so, but then eventually the killer shows up. They think they’ve got them locked out, but of course they’re wrong and he shows up any attacks. Scott and, uh, Jennifer hits him with a fireplace poker and there’s a big fight there, rolling around on the ground. And that’s when Jennifer stabs Jay in the back with a great big, huge knife.

And this is the second time this week, this. Week on American horror story, which I love and I’m happy to promote a guy, a guy got stabbed in the back and then just went on with his business for the rest of the day. Like you need to go to the hospital and you are not going to just be running 

Todd: around 

Craig: like do not get stabbed four to five inches into your back and just like go on about your business.

That is not how any of this works. 

Todd: Craig, PCP. That’s true. This is everything I was told about PCP in the eighties like you gotta have your head chopped off if you were on PCP, it’s still going to be right around terrorizing people.

Craig: And then Scott gets his throat cut, which I didn’t see coming. I thought that he was going to make it. 

Todd: Yeah. And that was the other scene that actually really bothered me. And again, it’s because it was so ineptly filmed, but that’s what made it. Feel so Snuffy is that Scott is sort of outside and it was also very poorly stage.

I didn’t really even understand how all this worked, but somehow Scott went out a door and was standing outside a window and Jay woke up with this knife in his back and jumped up crazy and thrust his hands through the window. Pull Scott in. And then very slowly and deliberately while he’s holding Scott’s head there and Jennifer is just standing there screaming, slits his throat, and I was that one.

I don’t know that that seemed really trouble me because he just doing, again, it was score to, like you said before, like. It felt like this is kind of the way it would happen. There was nothing glamorous about it. There was nothing dramatic about it. It was this really long shot, this medium shot that just went on for about 30 seconds of him slowly pulling this knife across this guy’s throat and it bleeds a little bit, and then he drops him.

Uh, and then Jennifer runs away and we’re about 10 minutes from the end of the movie. 

Craig: Oh my gosh. I kept looking because everybody else is dead. Except for those three, the couple and the kid. Everybody else is dead for like the last 20 minutes or so of this hour and 25 minute movie. And I was like, I kept looking at it thinking what is going to happen?

And I really, I really felt like with all that business in front of the fireplace and that terrible dialogue, I felt like they were stretching for time and I was sitting. You know, on the other side of my screen thinking seriously, just to wrap it up for sure. I get it. I can’t imagine what you are going to do for 20 more minutes and they really don’t do much of anything.

No. For those last 20 minutes, it’s just really dragged out. And then this part after Jay gets killed and not Jay, excuse me, I keep doing that after Scott gets killed. Um, 

Todd: I don’t even understand 

Craig: it. I don’t either. Like there he’s, he’s running around. Jay’s running around looking for Jennifer and Jennifer.

At this point. I feel like it doesn’t even give a shit about where angel is. In fact, in fact, Jennifer and Scott ran away out of the house and it took them a while to even remember that. The kid was still back there and then they like had to debate whether or not they were going to go back and get her.

Like, I don’t remember which one it was, but one of them was like, we got to go back for it, and the other one was like, no, not going back there. I mean, I get it in the heat of the moment. I don’t really know that 

Todd: in this way. 

Craig: Denver’s L 

Todd: this way, the movie was quite realistic. Yeah. 

Craig: Then anyway, so now, uh, Scott’s dead and Jay is like stalking around looking for Jennifer, and she’s pretty much out in the open in the house.

It’s not like. Even hidden. She’s just like in a room somewhere and then she just faints. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Cuts to the next morning, which makes no sense. If he was looking for her at all, he would found out. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s just, it’s these slow shots of him maniacally cackling and laughing with that same dumb look on his face, like sliding along the walls and stuff and then cut to her and cut to her.

And then, like you said, cut to morning and the cops are there. But there’s somewhere, I’m not exactly sure where the cops, 

Craig: they’re nearby. Nearby. 

Todd: Yeah. Because then there’s this whole deal and the cops are there and she wakes up and she gets up and she walks out and I think she’s walking into where the cops are.

I mean this, 

Craig: well, they’re like, they’re like, they’re kind of like, they’re coming down the street and we didn’t really know why at this point. But as they are coming down the street, like she can see them I think, but Jay pops out and attacks her again 

Todd: from nowhere. Yeah. And he’s got the knife in his back.

What was he doing all night? Was he like in a tree or something 

Craig: like, I know I have no idea. The, the cops jump out and they shoot him. And then Jennifer has this like 32nd freak out when the cops are trying to help her. And she’s just like screaming and flailing around on the ground and like, chick calm down.

Uh, but then we, we find out. That the cops knew about this because either they or somebody had found angel, the little girl wandering on the side of the highway and they had picked her up and she had told them what had happened and where she lived. And so, um, they, they, and, and so they bring her back there.

Cause I’m sure that’s what cops would do, 

Todd: you know, bring her back to the scene of the crime. 

Craig: Right. But anyway, Jennifer gets in the back of the cop car with her and one of the cops goes with them. And the other cops like, Oh, I’m just, I’m just gonna check on the killer, I guess. And he goes back to check on the killer and we get a shot of Jay on the ground, and he opens his eyes, the end, 

Todd: this guy, you know, stabbed in the back.

He’s got blood coming out of his mouth or something like that. Shot with a shotgun. Opens his eyes. PCP. Yeah, PCP P, this is, this whole episode is nothing but just sort of an advertisement for the wonders of PCP. I’m not saying kids, you should go out and do drugs, but somebody has got to figure out what happened to this stuff because it was a miracle in the 80s and then it just sort of disappeared from view and.

And we’ve got people on Ritalin and stuff, you know, he’s brain enhancing drugs and stuff like that. But, uh, it seems like PCP 

Craig: is due for a comeback. It really is.

Oh man. 

Todd: God, this movie for me would’ve been so bad. It’s good. If it had been watchable, and by watchable, I mean, if I could have. Seeing what was happening. Maybe, maybe there, there could be someday a better transfer of this film. Maybe we just watched something that was just cloudy and dark. It was bad in that way, but I could have ranked this right up along with blood rage as a hilarious movie to watch with your friends and laugh about and joke about because it’s wrong and bad in so many ways, but in the fun ways, you know, not like don’t go into the woods where it’s just so.

It’s just so stupid. I could have really gotten behind this movie in that way if it weren’t for the fact that was so hard for me to see what was going on half the time. So 

Craig: I liked blood rage a lot better. I thought that it was at least clever and the acting was better. The acting is serviceable, I guess in this movie.

It’s not very good, really. And, um, poor body by J, 

Todd: you know. 

Craig: I mean, what else was he supposed to do? I mean, he didn’t even have it. He had like two or three lines in the whole movie and what? What was he supposed to do? I mean, they be crazy. I guess that means breathe heavy and laugh a lot. I don’t know the other, I mean, there’s no character development.

What little character development there is with the. Victims just serves to make them more unlikeable. 

Todd: Yeah, it’s true. 

Craig: I, I can’t say I would put it in this so bad. It’s good. I, I think it’s just bad. And you know, I read, you know, it got terrible reviews and this is one of those movies where I didn’t even read, you know, I, I read.

A couple of, I had to dig kind of deep forum, but I read a couple of articles that were like, you know, let’s celebrate this forgotten movie. But even in doing that, they were like, we’re celebrating it cause it’s so bad. And just like you just said, and just like, I always say, if you’re gonna watch it, 

Todd: watch it with some friends and watch it.

Craig: Yeah. I mean, watch it to. With some friends. So for the purpose of goofing on it, I mean, that’s, that’s really the only, and, and don’t feel like you have to really pay attention either. Cause there, there’s, there’s no story. There’s no twist. There’s no, I mean, there’s, there’s not even any motivation for the setup.

Um, it’s just a random group of Brandon people who get besieged by this random guy who has no. Connection to them and he just picks them off one by one. It’s a slasher movie, so it’s not like I expect it to be high art, but I certainly wouldn’t watch it again. I, I really, I, even though I do appreciate that, I felt like there was some effort made to be a little bit creative with some of the kills.

Um, I was bored. I just, I kept looking at the timestamp hoping that it was almost over and really like it. I was on my phone. I’m like. Oh, come on.

But 

Todd: Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, everybody happy Thanksgiving. You got to take what you could get with these Thanksgiving horror movies, right? Someone’s got to make a good one one of these days. I know it’s 

Craig: surprising. It’s surprising that there aren’t more of them, but you know, I’m, I’m not particularly thankful for this movie, but, uh, uh, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I do have a lot to be thankful for in my life.

I’ve got a roof over my head. I’ve got great friends and family and dogs. I’m even. Thankful for your ugly ass. 

Todd: Don’t start to get sappy. I’ll make Craig, 

Craig: Hey, it’s what I do. Um, well, and I’m, and I’m thankful for all the people who listened to us and who communicate with us. It really feels cool to hear from people all over the world who enjoy what we’re doing.

I mean, literally, I’m sitting here in my bathrobe on a Sunday morning just goofing around with a friend and the fact that, uh, people want to listen to that and appreciate that it, it really feels good. So thank you to all of you who reach out. We appreciate 

Todd: you. Yeah, we sure do. I, I’m standing up in front of a microphone in a room.

Um, my wife is on her phone, sitting on the sofa waiting for me to get done so we can go to bed. And I’m trying not to pick up my son. This is not glamorous work by any means. It’s not even work cause we don’t even get paid for it. But, uh, but we’re just, we just do it for the fun of it. And we do do it for you guys.

Like Craig said, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out or leave us some review or just tell us so much how you appreciate it. When we started out this thing, we just decided we weren’t going to, we were going to stop doing it. Uh, if it. Ceased to be fun.

And you guys make it fun. So that’s the reason we do it. And so thank you so much in the spirit of the holiday. So anyway, the movie might’ve been shit, but anyway, thank you for you guys and we do appreciate it. If you share this podcast with a friend. How that helps us grow our listenership just a little bit.

You can find us on Facebook. You just search for two guys and a chainsaw. Also find our website there. Leave us a comment, leave us a message. Let us know what you’re doing for Thanksgiving and somebody somewhere someday, sometime is going to make a decent Thanksgiving movie and we’re pretty sure you’re going to be the ones to clue us in on it so that we can actually review a decent Thanksgiving movie, one of these years. Until that time, I’m Todd and I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.