Tammy and the T-Rex

Craig went off the deep-end this week to dig through the dustbin of history and brush of this wacky flick starring none other than a super-young Denise Richards, Paul Walker, and a convenient animatronic dinosaur.

Is it horror? Well, the R-rated "gore version" certainly is, and that's naturally the version we reviewed. But it's also a self-aware screwball comedy that is dated as hell in the most lovely way possible. Have a listen and see if you can log into Shudder or some other streaming service to watch this jaw-droppingly fun film. Then come back here and revisit it with us.

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Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

Episode 228, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Craig: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Craig.

Todd: and I’m Todd.

Craig: Now last week, Todd picks the movie and after that was a total nightmare, uh, I thought that maybe I would try to pick something this week and see if I could do a little bit better. So

Todd: how you define better?

Craig: So I went looking around on all. You know, my streaming services and, uh, the movie that caught my eye was 1994 is Tammy and the T-Rex starring a baby Denise Richards and baby Paul Walker. I found this on Shudder, where it is available to stream in its original uncut version. The version that was originally released, um, in 1994 was heavily edited to get a PG 13 rating and be considered more fun family fare.

But fortunately the version that we saw is the hour and a half, uh, version with some of the original. Gore. And, um, a couple of other things put back in, I really didn’t know a whole lot about this movie going in, other than it looked and sounded crazy. And I thought that it might be kind of fun. Um, Todd knew, you know anything about this.

Todd: I didn’t know a thing about it. I mean, 1994, I was in high school, well into high school and I was a massive Denise Richards. Um, I was basically in love with her after Starship troopers came out, which I think was only a few years after this, right. She was 22 in this movie. And as soon as I saw that she was starring in this house, I was like, Oh man, this is going to be a lot of fun.

And I couldn’t believe how young she was. This is a fun, a fun movie, but I never, I never heard anything about it before or since, I guess it was what released to VHS more or less. And then. Kind of forgotten by history, right? Didn’t get a wide release and it didn’t really function well as a family film in a PG 13 format because apparently, um, well, I mean, clearly a lot large chunks of scenes would have to be cut, uh, to cut out the tremendous Gore or that exists alongside this.

Otherwise just. Goofy to the point of corny sex comedy, right.

Craig: It’s

Todd: almost what is give her so many sex jokes in this movie and it’s it’s so over the top, like there’s a doctor who talks, you know, has a heavy German accent, uh, and he has an.  Helga, you know, who’s tall and buxom of barely speaks. And every other line in this movie is some double entendre or joke.

And what I read, because we haven’t seen the PG through teen version, but I read that the PG 13 version cuts out all the Gore, but still leaves all of the sex jokes. Imagine, you know, That’s so silly.

Craig: Uh, yeah, I know, honestly, uh, to even call this a horror movie is kind of a stretch. I mean, there are, I guess some horror elements and there is a little bit, yeah,

Todd: there’s a lot of Gore

Craig: and some really, really fun practical effects.

Uh, but yeah, really it’s a screwball comedy, you know, we’ve done a few other movies kind of in this vein. Like I’m thinking like spooky as we talked about at one point yeah. Blood bath at the house of death. So it’s not entirely new territory for us, but it is a little bit different than our usual fare.

But I have to say, you know, honestly, when I was looking. At what we should do this week, I watched the first five or 10 minutes of two or three movies. There were a couple of others that caught my eye too. But, um, just the first five minutes of this movie, I thought

Todd: it’s

Craig: going to be so good. Yeah. So finally, once I landed on this, I sat and watched it by myself as I always do.

And Oh my gosh, I was just giggling and laughing the whole time. And. I always take notes and I always take way more notes than I do. I need to, because I usually barely even look at them when we’re actually talking. Um, but what I ha what I’ve found myself doing. In this movie was just writing down lines because there were so many hilarious lines and they’re juvenile and stupid and, you know, right up my alley because I was just cracking up the whole time.

And the other thing that I really liked about this movie that I had. Really no idea going in is it’s got, I want to say an amazing cast because it’s cast full of Oscar winning performers, but because there are so many recognizable faces in this movie and, you know, somebody would come on screen and I’d be like, ah, It’s fuck flowers, flowers, or, Oh, it’s that creepy kid from children to the core.

Todd: Oh, it’s Roche from the people under the stairs.

Craig: Yes. Oh, my gosh. So many fun, fun, fun cameos for people like us, who like these dumb movies.

Todd: And it’s so dated too. And you know, we live in this time, right? We love this late eighties, early nineties stuff. And, and this movie is just dripping with it. The costumes that people are wearing at points in this film are just over the top. Products of their time and the movie kicks off, probably, you know, you watch the first 10, five minutes.

That’s pretty much just the title sequence, right? It’s just, is leering, leering shots going through these girls, working out in a gym with all their leotards, Stefan, then this pumping, you know, like. Eighties pop sort of rock song in the background that somehow ties into the theme of the movie.

Craig: The whole, the whole song is written from the perspective of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, a little hair.

It’s so funny. And yeah, Denise Richards plays Tammy. Even though the titles, the title card says Tammy and the T Rex. And she’s a build is Tanny in the credits.

Todd: What’s a story behind that.

Craig: Well, they, the filmmaker it’s directed by a guy named. Stuart raffle. And I don’t remember if it was he who said this, but somebody said we just, we wanted to make everybody throw everybody off.

Cause you never really know what’s reality. The line between reality and fiction is so blurred. And I just in the back of my mind have to believe that that’s just totally bullshit and they just screwed up the title card.

Todd: Didn’t

Craig: care to go back and fix it. It’s kind of a weird

Todd: comic it’s font anyway. So, you know, it could be good.

It’s just been a typo.

Craig: Oh, it’s funny. But Denise Richard’s place, Tammy and she’s. I guess it’s cheerleading practice and she’s a terrible dancer. Yeah. That may have to do with the fact that this movie was thrown together. I think in three weeks. And the inception of the movie is, is interesting to me because the writer director.

Stuart raffle, as I said, was approached by some guy who owned some theaters or something in South America. And he just happened to have this animatronic T-Rex and he’s like, I’ve got this right. I’m going to be sending it to, he was going to be sending it to a theater or a museum or something about a month, but he had it available.

And so the writer director was like, okay, I’ll use it. And he wrote the script in about a week and they filmed it over the next two or three weeks. And he has said that he’s a major cheater as well, because he wrote it so quickly that just in the moment as they were shooting, he would ask the actors or anybody else on set.

Do you guys have any better ideas? Because so like

Todd: that wasn’t good lines. Oh forest, please. I have to imagine that that happened. I mean, it had to have happened cause some of these lines are so golden. Some of these lines are the kind of lines that probably have been in one person’s head. Forever. And they were just dying to use them until given the finally given the chance they’re just groaners, right.

Groner jokes left and right.

Craig: Yeah, they are. But they’re so funny. And I think that part of the reason why the movie works is that it seems like everybody knew exactly what they were doing. This is a bad movie and they knew it going in. They were. Making a stupid movie. And at times it’s so overplayed that it’s ridiculous, but at the same time funny, and at times, especially Denise Richards is like given her absolute all, you know, for in the most

Todd: ridiculous situations, she manages to play it straight.

It’s impressive. Yeah.

Craig: Denise Richards is a beautiful, beautiful woman, but I don’t think that anybody has ever accused her of being an amazing actress.

It looks great. And so she’s dancing to the T Rex song and what turns out to be, I guess, not necessarily her boyfriend, but this guy that is interested in her and she’s interested in walks in, and it is a 17 year old Paul Walker. And I swear that throughout the course of the movie, I couldn’t decide who was prettier, Tammy or Michael, because they are both just pretty well Walker.

He, he looks 17. He can’t weigh more than like 160 pounds soaking wet. He’s just this beanpole kid, but so cute and so charming and so charismatic. And it, it really is. Tragic that he was taken before his time, but it’s also interesting. To see these young actors, both of whom would go on to have successful careers.

Denise Richards, no. Had her spotlight kind of in the late nineties, uh, early on, but Paul Walker passed away. In the middle of one of the biggest movie franchises in the world in history. So I think that his star would have continued to rise and he seemed like a really cool guy, a nice charitable conscientious guy.

And it really is sad that his life was cut short, but, um, it was, it was really nice to see him young and. Handsome, not that he ever wasn’t handsome, but so anyway, he walks in, they’re both wearing crop tops. Okay. Did football players ever really wear crop? Just a thing in the movie.

Todd: Not at my school, even my school year, even in the nineties, I don’t remember that happening.

But, uh, nevertheless in the films you’d think they were all wearing them and nobody got made fun. Yes.

Craig: And they, you know, they’re cute and they walk out together and they bump into her friends. Byron, who is just this who introduces himself say work at girl. And I don’t know if he’s talking to Tammy or Michael Barbie girl.

Oh my goodness. Firing me. Michael was pleased to meet you in the flesh. You know, Tammy talks about you all the time. And I could think, girl, you didn’t exaggerate one out of, well, I got to fly by my cup, but he’s just this completely stereotypical gay guy and stereotypical black guy in so much as the way that he acts and talks is really flamboyant.

And then he dresses in like traditional well, Surely, not really, but like photo traditional, African garb, like what

talking about race right now is, is very, you know, sketchy. Uh, but things were different in the eighties and nineties, and I’m not suggesting in a better way, but you could kind of get away with. Playing to the stereotypes for comedy. And that is what is going on here, but he’s hilarious. He’s so funny. Yeah.

He’s kind of her sidekick throughout the movie. And, uh, he’s a funny, such a, I don’t know the actors got the actors name is Theo force. It, he doesn’t have very many credits at all. In fact, I think it was like 20 years or something. After this movie was made before he had one more acting credit or something like that.

But funny, funny guy and paired really well. She’s the straight man kind of in their duo. And he’s the comic relief. Just hilarious.

Todd: It’s good screenwriting. Especially when you’re on a rush, trying to do something fast as you throw this duo together. And they’re basically the duo throughout the movie with w with everything that happens and they can play to each other, like.

Laurel and Hardy are avid Castello. And she pulls a flower out of her backpack and hands it back to well is returning it to Michael and says, I’m sorry, I can’t accept this. And he’s like, why not? She’s like, because he’ll kill you. So she has a thing for him. He has a thing for her, but she has this ex-boyfriend who were immediately introduced to it because suddenly just like a storm, a car pulls up and 20 people come jumping out of it, running up to them.

Uh, and Billy is. Full on bully asshole. Like he should be in prison

Craig: over the top. And also like 35. It’s

Todd: supposed to be a teenager, but he they’re doing their best to try to make them look young. And it doesn’t

Craig: Michael, think you got to get out of here. I’m not running from this guy, Tammy. She’s going to hurt you.

What the hell you think you’re doing? You’re going to get out of this. I’m walking with this lady. What do you think you’re doing animal? That’s my lady. All right,

come on. You know, some, I’m not going to kill you this time. It’s cool.

Todd: Aggressively angry. And, and this was, I mean, full on trauma mode, I think.

Craig: Yeah, no, it reminded me so much of trauma. Yeah,

Todd: right? Yeah. Every trauma movie has this character in it. Who’s just insane. And you know, he’s going to kill somebody and he would be in prison if he existed in the real world. And it makes absolutely no sense that he’s pretty much allowed to run around with.

With abandon, what do whatever he wants in this movie and no authority figures whatsoever ever step in and do anything about it.

Craig: And he’s got a whole gang of lackeys, like six of them, one of them, you mentioned, uh, Sean Whalen, uh, Roach from the people under the stairs. He plays weasel. He’s

Todd: kind of,

Craig: Billy’s a sidekick, but when she had given him that.

Flower when Tammy had given Michael the flower, it also had a bracelet on it, apparently that he had given her. Um, and when he handed it or when she handed it to him and said, I can’t take this, he’s like, Oh, okay. And then he eats it and what is happening? It was a setup for later, but the moment I’m like, what is he.

That’s so weird. I guess he was being cute and funny. I don’t know, but right away, Billy and Michael get into a fight and it’s a hilariously choreographed and it ends when bill grabs. Michael by the Dick. And I wish there was some times that I wish on this podcast that we could show you things because the way that he like arches his back and screams

Todd: freezes,

Craig: aren’t able to move.

So the way for him to retaliate then is he grabs Billy’s Dick. And so they’re both just standing there squeezing each other’s. Packers.

Todd: Well, Byron’s going, Oh, that’s a good move

background casually. And then two police officers jump in. One of them is buck flowers. They’re going to break it up and buck flowers looks over at the other guy and goes

Craig: Oh my

gosh.

Todd: That’s that’s basically the through line of the whole film.

Craig: It is, there’s the tone right there. And, uh, the cops finally get them apart and, uh, Billy is still like moaning and groaning, but Michael’s not in the cops. Like what’s the matter boy ain’t you got a Dick. And he goes, I got a cup on smiles.

Great, big just the silliest jokes. But Billy threatens him and Michael tries to chase Tammy, but she incredibly melodramatically screams at the top of her lungs and runs away.

Todd: Oh, my

Craig: gosh. Oh. And then we cut to a different scene with different characters and that’s when we meet dr. Walk in the scene, played by Terry Kiser who most people would probably recognize as Bernie from weekend at Bernie’s.

And he’s got this great German accent and he’s got, like you said, this assistant named Helga who’s about seven feet tall and just busty and sexy. And like you said, doesn’t talk very much. I’ve got a couple of other lackeys too. He’s got one big beefy Lackey and he’s good. This other, I don’t know. The scientist

Todd: or scientists, computer nerd, or something,

Craig: who is, I thought of him as kind of the Igor to walk and Steans Frankenstein, Frankenstein, excuse me.

His name is Bobby and he’s played by John Franklin, who was, I think the main kid, the leader of the children of the corner

Todd: of the original film.

Craig: Yeah. And he has. This big animatronic T-Rex and that’s something else that I love about this movie. Like what it’s going to come down to is dr. Walkin Steen needs a brain to put into this.

T-Rex for reasons unknown. It’s never explained. He just wants to, I guess

Todd: your Igor character is put off by this because he thinks his computer is better. Like you said, there’s no real, I’m trying to figure out why he decided to build a dinosaur to transfer a human brain into for these experiments. I mean, later way later in the movie, he’s talking with hell gun, we get a little bit of explanation in that.

He has this idea that we’ll soon be able to transplant brains into robot bodies and nobody will ever die again. And that people will be able to transplant all kinds of bodies and they’ll make so much money selling these robots. So why he chooses a dinosaur? His very first experiment is a question that’s never answered, of course, except for the fact that the producers of the movie had a dinosaur they needed to use.

And I’ve got to say, uh, the, the writer director of this movie. Like you said Stewart raffle. He’s pretty smart. I mean, you get an animatronic dinosaur, that’s kind of limited and it’s definitely not going to match Jurassic park level quality. You don’t want to make a dinosaur movie. It’s going to look really stupid and lame, but he used the fact this animatronic.

Throughout the whole movie, we know it’s animatronic, that’s a plot point. And so therefore, yeah. Okay. That’s fine. I mean, it, you know, it neatly gets around that problem of the effect. Right. But this assistant goes up and then they, they test the dinosaur and he goes up to Tessa straggling test his strength.

The is like Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, I have this dumbbell at the dinosaur, which in it’s tiny little T-Rex clause, just grabs it, nonchalantly, tosses it right back at him.

Yeah. In a scene that looks really dumb. And then he picks up a big log and he puts it into the dinosaurs jaw and the man upstairs presses a few buttons into the computer and the Janus or closes its jaw and just. Completely crushes this

Craig: thing,

that’s mobility. I mean, life beyond this and the limitations of a suit would come through,

give you that freedom. I won’t give you everything. I want to give you a little.

Todd: asking for trouble.

Craig: Oh, it’s hilarious. But you’re right, because it does look like an animatronic now to be fair. It’s a pretty good animatronic. I mean, it’s got some bad relative, especially in the face. It’s got some good movement now, the arms and the walking.

Todd: Is it

Craig: leave it, it does actually become mobile.

Um, it’s really, really hokey, but that is there that they’re not trying to go beyond that. It’s supposed to look hokey. It’s hilarious. And then there are scenes later in the movie where. Denise Richards is supposed to be writing the dinosaur and you see it from a distance and it really looks like somebody just has like a toy dinosaur with a Barbie on it that they’re like moving.

Todd: Oh, okay.

Craig: It’s wonderful. It’s so good.

Todd: It is hilariously bad,

Craig: but getting back to Michael and Tammy, she calls him and she apologizes tearfully and he’s all glum, but she says, but I want you to come over and then immediately he’s super, super excited and happy. Okay.

Todd: I’ll be right there. I’ll be off by the way.

That was the most realistic. See nanny acting in the whole film.

Craig: Yeah. Like he jumps up and he puts on his jacket and he heads out the door and then he turns around and he comes back in and he opens his nightstand and he like rifles around in there and he pulls out a condom and he kisses it. Yeah. And then, uh, the heads out.

And climbs the trellis into her room, but some of Billy’s friends see. And so they call Billy Tammy and Michael, uh, make out a little bit and say they love each other. And they’re both so pretty. But then, uh, Billy Billy’s gang shows up and like the sound of the house, like this whole gang teenagers, like breaks the door down.

Her parents are down there

Todd: standing aside basically while this happens.

Craig: Yeah. They, uh, what’s his name? Michael goes out the window, but they chase him and they catch him and they beat him up a little bit and they throw them into the trunk of the car and drive to a wild cat sanctuary

Todd: wild animal park, which is secured by just a metal gate, uh, with a chain and.

Padlock which they break through and drive their car into amongst. Lions that are walking around and Jaguars roaming freely within this park, or presumably

Craig: that looks like the size of, you know, like a city, a small city and all these. I don’t know how this works, but I would think that you wouldn’t just have all of these different species of wild cats in the same enclosure, but what do I know?

I don’t know. Um, and they’re, they’re real cats. I mean,

Todd: yeah.

Craig: I mean,

Todd: there are, I have Ben. Okay. So Beijing has an actual zoo like this it’s called the Beijing wild animals zoo or whatever. And I recently went there and they have kind of like a Disney’s animal kingdom where there’s a Safari where you can get on a bus.

And they take you through these areas where these wild animals are roaming. Fairly freely around the road and you can look through the windows and you can poke meat out and feel them and stuff. But of course, you know, they’re contained there. It’s like, it’s like a Stalag 16. Yeah. Going through you go in one gate, the gate closes behind you.

A gate opens in front of you and then you drive out, you have all these measures to keep these animals in. And then there’s another section of the park where you can actually take your own car through so you can drive. Through a similar area where they’re roaming freely in your own. Yeah. Cool. And, uh, about two years ago made I think pretty much international news where a couple was driving through here with their parents in the backseat and the guy and the girl got in a fight and this woman got out of the car and stormed around to the other side and Elian just leaped out of the bushes and grabbed her and dragged her away.

It’s horrible. It’s horrible. Right? Like, and there’s video of the entire thing. It’s on the internet. I mean, you know, it’s just, it’s really distressing, but that’s one thing you don’t do in a wild animal park is get out of the car when there are these animals roaming freely. And what do they do once they drive into the can this park?

And we’ve seen all these animals roaming for, as they all just casually get out of the car and throw Billy on the ground. All I could think about was that in the back of my mind, I’m like these people aren’t terribly smart. No, no,

again, rise. Neither is the plot. I love the film. So

Craig: yeah, so they, they leave in there at first. She doesn’t even know where he is, but eventually he is pursued in the most docile of ways by. A lion and

Todd: rotting after them.

Craig: And then like he climbs a tree and then there’s like a Panther and the tree. And so he jumps back down out of the tree and, uh, the lion attacks him and mauls him until, I guess like a park ranger or something shows up and, and fires his gun and, and gets the lion off.

But. You know, as is often the case for people who are attacked by lions, um, Michael is physically unharmed, but put into a coma,

Todd: right?

Craig: So he’s in a coma. And, uh, we see them in the hospital and Tammy and Byron, uh, are there visiting

Todd: Byron sits on uncle Bob. Here’s this guy sitting, sitting in a chair against the wall. Uh, who’s asleep. And Byron goes, Oh, what did I do? And she’s like, Oh, you sat on uncle Bob. It’s his only guardian. So we get this information that Michael is, you know, an orphan, I guess, or, um, his parents died and whatnot.

He is this, his only living relative uncle Bob doesn’t wake up after Byron jumps off, sits on him. But yeah,

Craig: he’s a drunk that’s the big joke is uncle Bob’s the town drunk or whatever, but unbeknownst to them, walking scene and Helga are also there at the hospital. Hunting for a brain, I guess. And they come in and hilariously fake Michael’s death, walking steam, like Helga held the messes with the machine to make it look like he flat lines and then walk and steam jumps on top of him, straddles him and starts doing fake PR.

Yeah.

well, that’s it. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I did all I could.

Both, both Tammy and Byron faint in, in four. And they wheel Michael out. Once they get him outside, he wakes up from his coma. It’s like, what’s going on? They knock him out again and take him back to there. Lab slash warehouse where the T Rex is. And then there’s the whole Labatt dummy scene. It’s just ridiculous.

I mean, the whole time. That I was watching this. I was thinking this was perfect fare for one of our favorite ladies night TV shows, uh, of the eighties up all night. Like it was just it’s slapstick, ridiculous comedy. Um, but this LA bottomy scene is so funny. Hilarious. They’ve got him on a gurney or whatever.

And the doctor walking and scene saws his head off and it’s some sheep, but reasonable, practical effects with the cutting and whatnot, but then they take his skull cap off. Walking scene starts poking electrodes into different parts of his brain and says, each part of the brain controls a different area is watch this any pokes, the brain and Paul Walker’s legs shoots up in the air.

And then he says on now watching these slide and he pokes it. A huge, huge fake Wiener pops up underneath his gown. And like,

Todd: Paul Walker’s gets like three foot boner.

Craig: Like he, he just keeps poking it. So it just like is popping up and down

Todd: and wiggling around

Craig: and walking seems like I have to remember that’s one 40 later, like, Oh, it’s so silly. And he puts the brain. In the T Rex. And I guess he says something like all full, all I’ll finish the procedure tomorrow or something like that.

Like it’s not supposed to be done. Everybody goes away the two lackeys, the big hulking one and the little Igor one, um, go off and like order a pizza. Uh, and when the pizza guy arrives, which by the way, did you recognize the little pizza guy? He was. He was Pedro from Napoleon dynamite. No kidding. You’re absolutely right.

Todd: Wow.

Craig: The guy comes in and, and the T Rex starts moving and it scares him and he runs away. And, um, there’s a little bit of comedy with the guys, you know, getting their pizza and whatnot, but then eventually the, the T Rex is awake and the little scientist, Bobby. Is like yelling at it, like telling it what to do or something I don’t remember, but then it lowers it, his head and bites his head off.

And this happens more than once. And it’s so funny because the actors have to stand. So still. For this and have the Tronic to be able to lower down right over it. Like they, they virtually have to jump into it. Yeah. Gingerly placed their heads inside so it can rip their heads off, but it does, it rips his head off and there’s blood and guts and all kinds of stuff.

And when the big guy comes back, The T-Rex I think chases him outside and then crushes them somehow.

Todd: Yeah. Steps on his chest.

Craig: Oh yeah. You stepped on him and totally crushed him. All I can remember is that sometime later in the movie, Helga and wa and a walk and scene, find this guy and hell could just rolls him up.

Yes. He’s just flat like a pig cake,

Todd: total site gag. And the way that the dinosaur walks is we get these shots from below up and we just see him gliding. Forward, like they’re pushing the animatronic along on a trolley and then we’ll get another close up shot of his legs, where there’s obviously somebody with, you know, dinosaur feet, just stomping forward, the rubber, you know, actually, yeah, I can, you can say the rubber might flex weird and stuff because it’s an animatronic.

So, you know, it’s just a rubber and over the outside, that’s the brilliance of the effects of this movie, right. They working with what they have. But then the T Rex scares an old lady away off of a payphone, goes up to the phone. You just see his head is there and you see these tiny little T-Rex arms, which

Craig: subtly

Todd: I have to have.

I must have grown. To be like four feet long to be able to do all of the things that are doing and

Craig: to be able to move

Todd: in the rapid and highly articulated way that the rest of the dinosaur cannot to be able to pick up the phone, dial the buttons, very casually. Call the girlfriend, Denise Richards, Tammy.

It’s so funny. Every scene where this dinosaur uses his hands, it’s just, there’s the dinosaur head and. Pink up pops, somebodies arm in a dinosaur claw glove who can then make hand signals and manipulate things and pick stuff up and do whatever in a very unconvincing way.

Craig: Right. Check for loose quarters in the slot of the payphone.

Todd: It’s so great.

Craig: It is great. And it calls Tammy, but it can’t talk cause it’s the T Rex. So instead it goes off to a party. Somebody is throwing a party. And for, for whatever reason, Tammy, even though her boyfriend just died that day is there, but she’s very, very upset,

Todd: not upset enough, but very upset.

Craig: Denise Richard sitting at a table with her arms crossed in a sour, look on her face, like.

She was, she was perfect. This might be her finest performance, frankly,

this and wild.

Todd: Meanwhile, Byron’s walking up like, Hey, cheer up, girl. It ain’t that bad.

Craig: Right. But Billy, he shows up and so she’s out of there. So, uh, she leaves. And then we see that the T-Rex is coming to the party. And I love, I mean, this is 94. What year did your acid part come out? Didn’t drastic park come out in 94.

Todd: Oh yeah. Or the year before? Yeah, I think it was 93.

Craig: And so they totally do the gag where you see, you know, like all the like red solo cups and all the other party cups sitting on a table, shaking. And people are like, what’s going on? Is it an earth? Meanwhile, some skank is, has gotten a hold of Billy and taken him off to a convertible where they have loud, loud sex with all of their clothes on

Todd: her legs are straight up in the air and that car is moving. The convertible is moving like you wouldn’t believe. And she is. Screaming, but they both have their clothes on. Uh, and then the T Rex comes over behind her, uh, above and her screaming just gets him more and more excited because her intensity level has, has arisen.

Craig: I’m good. Right? I’m good. Right.

Todd: Oh, but it comes down and bites her leg off, picks her up actually by the legs. Uh, and. Oh, throws her away. What happens to her?

Craig: Yes, she does. Or no, because later when the cops arrived, there’s a bunch of dead people, but one of the cops says, I thought we found a bunch of dead people and a one legged girl over there.

She’s still pretty hot though.

Billy runs away and runs into the party, uh, and the T Rex chases. And then there’s just. Carnage. Like, I don’t remember exactly how all it happens at some point point a weasel is peeing and sees that he’s peeing on the foot of the T Rex and the T Rex takes its, you know, little rubber hand and scratches him down.

The front of his torso, which totally dissembles him, all of his guts fall out all over, and then it chases it’s in the party and everybody’s screaming and running and it’s killing people. And eventually it. Bites Billy’s head off. Uh, again,

Todd: apprise me. I thought we’d see Billy through the whole movie causing trouble.

Craig: Yeah. But no, he’s gone. Um, but as it’s chasing people, one of the people is chasing is Byron and Byron trips and falls. And the two Rick’s picks him up. Sets him back down on his feet, brushes off his jacket and lets him go on his way.

Todd: It was a nice touch.

Craig: So, so later, so later Byron’s like, I knew that she wrecks knew me.

Oh gosh,

Todd: this little T-Rex hands gingerly brushing the dust off of his shoulder was a really nice touch.

Craig: So funny God. The, the cops show up and, and start trying to question people, but like, and the chief of police, um, turns out to be. Byron’s dad, I think, but, uh, buck flowers and the other guy are still there too.

And, uh, the chief is trying to ask people questions, but they’re not getting any answers. And I’m pretty sure was buck flowers. She says, they’re in shock. You’re going to have to slap it out of them.

These wines. They, they, I wrote them down because I thought they were so funny. And now here I am saying it and they sound so stupid and they are stupid, but you have to see this movie to really get the humor. I mean, take our word for it if you want, but really watch this movie. It’s really funny back to Helga and walking Steen who are excited because even though the T Rex wasn’t supposed to have been activated yet, it proves that it works.

Um, so they’re all excited about that. Then the T-Rex goes to, uh, Tammy’s house and she’s just casually, like, I don’t know, brushing her hair or something.

Todd: Her bedroom.

Craig: Yeah. When, when she sees it, either in the mirror, she turns around and sees it or wherever she screams and passes out again. And her parents hear her screaming go to check on her, but she’s gone.

And it looks like she’s gone out the window. Like the curtains are blowing out the window or something. She wakes up in a barn and that T-Rex is there with her. We keep saying T-Rex, it’s probably what, like maybe 10 feet tall. Like it’s not, it’s not as torment.

Todd: It’s big, but not that tall, I guess, big enough to reach into the second story of a house.

Ooh, maybe not actually

Craig: not really with its arms. No. Maybe with its head

Todd: 10 foot tall T-Rex to be able to just apparently walk around town without being seen. It’s kind of funny walk down. The suburban neighborhood pulled her out of the window, took her back to some remote barn and nobody reported it.

Okay.

Craig: And this scene is hilarious too, because. Denise Richards plays it straight. Like at first she’s she’s scared, but then when it’s seems pretty obvious that it’s not trying to hurt her, then she like just goes along with trying to communicate with it. And there’s this whole scene. It’s trying to explain that it’s Michael and it plays charades.

Yeah. And, and then somehow it has a flower and it eats the flower and it points to her bracelet. And so finally she figures out that it’s hint. And once she figures out that it’s him, she’s totally fine with it. And in love with him.

Todd: Yes. It’s basically like we have a scene later where she is. Laying down with the dinosaurs arms wrapped around hers.

And they’re both taking a nap. I mean, it’s really pretty funny. I was thinking actually, shades of you remember a long time ago was a deadly friend. When the guy puts the brain, the girl’s brain of this girlfriend who dies into another girl, was that right? A corpse. Or whatever the robot, it

Craig: was, it was Kristy Swanson.

And

Todd: they end up in the barn.

Craig: I don’t remember. It’s been a long time.

Todd: Gosh, it was so funny. Some of these scenes were just like it too. Cause like they ended up in the barn and they kind of like passionately embrace and they lay down and they wake up the next morning and all this stuff I was like, except in this case, one was a giant animatronic, dinosaur.

Minor, minor difference.

Craig: Well, she goes home and her parents are there with the cops outside and she’s just strolls up and she’s like, hi daddy. And he’s like, where have you been? And she was like, what happened? She’s like, I don’t know. It must’ve been a meteor or something.

Went out to see what, if I could find it or something like that. She tells Byron and she says, we have to get his body back. We can do it at the funeral. So then we cut to the funeral, which is just like, it looks like it’s in like a parking lot or something. It’s got all these fake prop, like cardboard tombstones.

She is dressed like. Six from blossom or like, like the lead singer of four non blondes in the what’s up video. It’s so funny.

Todd: They’re just standing around and there’s a giant Bush there and behind the giant Bush, apparently we’re only, she can see it. The dinosaurs is bulking over the top. Watching his own funeral

Craig: and I’m drunk, drunk.

Uncle Bob gives a eulogy. Everybody’s crying, including the T Rex, like tears are streaming down his face.

Todd: When did we get this ability? Yeah. So funny. This is my favorite. See, cause after it’s all gone, the dyno comes out and surprise. Byron I think is the first time he sees it, but she is like, I can’t believe I’m going to do this, but we need to, and she jumps into the grave.

Because I guess her idea is that they’re going to try to get Michael’s body out of there and get the brain back into his body. Was that within this thinking. So she opens, she opens the coffin and goes because Michael’s body is half decomposed, rats all over it.

Craig: Maggots. Yeah.

Todd: Like what was she expecting to see?

I just thought this was a, this was hilarious. Like, this is a brilliant idea. Like, you know, it’s such a movie thing. Like, Oh, this person just died. We’re going to open the coffin and we’re going to embrace their body one more time. I love that.

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. And somehow Helga shows up and they have a girl fight, which was funny.

Right. Tammy, I guess after she fights Helga, I don’t know. I’m trying to follow my notes again. Hell guns. Get me fight. And then Tammy says to, uh, Michael, we’re going to find you another body. I promise. So Tammy and Byron go to the morgue where they just start looking around, like shopping for bodies and they find one hot guy.

And Byron’s like, what about this? This one? And he lifts up the blanket and she’s like, eh, yeah, he’s okay. Then Byron lifts it up further and she gifts. Like she doesn’t like it’s Dick. Like, Ooh, no, not for me. Um, but then the TRX is outside. So they start pulling all these corpses up to the window. So for like, it’s a for Michael’s approval, but he keeps not approving.

And at one point Byron lifts a girl up there. And Tammy’s like, no, I don’t want a girl. I want a boy by her. And it’s like, well, it’s not really up to you. Yeah.

Uh, but they’re interrupted in that because Helga and walk and Steen try to steal the T Rex is in the back of this big truck and they try to steal it, I think. And so. Uh, Tammy and Byron have to run out there. And I think that the police are out there and somehow Tammy and Byron ended up in the truck and they take off and the police start chasing them.

And by her and says, hang onto your boobs girl, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. And Denise Richard grabs her.

Oh, it’s the silliest thing. It’s so funny. It’s just ridiculous. Um, there’s a little car chase, Byron. They pull over and Byron gets out and tries to stall, but, uh, he gets handcuffed and that’s when we get the amazing shot of Tammy riding the T Rex. And then it all kind of comes to a head the next morning.

They go back to their same barn that they were at before. And that’s when you see them waking up in the morning, like spooning, like the T Rex is spooning and, and Byron comes there. Yeah. He knows to go there because that’s, she, Tammy had told them that’s where they went last time. But unbeknownst to him, he’s been followed by the police and walk and Steen and Helga show up.

And that’s kind of where the final, I suppose, showdown happens. And the whole time I was. Looking at the time, not because I was bored, I was not at all bored watching this movie, but I realized there were still like 10 or 15 minutes left. And like, what. Are they going to do this last scene? Just kind of stretched out for awhile, but, uh, it was funny nonetheless showdown at the barn.

Aye. Aye. I don’t remember. I think she, she shouts out to the cops, leave him alone. He’s my boyfriend.

Todd: Byron’s like. Uh, gimme something white. It seems like I don’t have anything. Like, he’s like, Oh, I know you do. And then the next shot is they come stepping out of the barn and he’s got, I guess, her bra, uh, that he’s waving on his stick. And they’re like, Oh, well, we’re not surrendering. We’ve come to negotiate.

And there ain’t going to be no negotiation and all this stuff. Anyway, uh, the doctor has tried to convince the cops that he’s going, he can go in and shoot it with a tranquilizer. And at this moment, I’m thinking, what good is that going to do? It’s animatronic. And at that point, the doctors, the, I think maybe Byron speaks up and says, what good’s that going to do?

He’s not a real dinosaur he’s animatronic. And the cops are like, Oh, yeah. And the doctor comes up with some bullshit explanation. Like it’s a new system

Craig: brand new. It’s very secretive, but under the circumstances, I suppose I have no alternative. You see the dinosaur as a new memory system, a new computer created by growing thinking, crystals into memory cells.

It’s very much letting them indeed. In fact, it is so new that, I mean, we are hoping that it will put America back on top.

Todd: And the two rednecky cops look at each other and go, okay, I approve of that. He pulls out a gun to a tranquilizer gun. That’s massive.

Craig: Relax. This is a tranquilizer gun I know in the spring, but they don’t make small tranquilizer gun

Todd: going to Sue.

Then he walks in, but does not succeed because of course he gets attacked by Michael. Who very quickly takes a huge bite out of the doctor’s chest and he falls backwards on Helga runs up. And did she get it too? Or did she get away?

Craig: I don’t remember. I think she gets away, but first the T-Rex Spitz, walking, Steans guts all over her guts out.

Right.

Todd: And then she runs away and then the cops all opened fire on the dinosaur

Craig: and he goes down because shooting animatronic animals kills them, I guess. Um, And Tammy falls to the floor, caresses the dead dinosaur and weeks. Yeah. You think that’s it. But no. Then it opens up back at her house and it’s daytime again.

And. She very happily trots up to her house and greets her dad and goes inside. Her parents are like, I’m a little bit concerned about her having him up there like that. And I was thinking what, but she goes, she goes, yeah, so stairs and she starts talking and then you hear Michael talking to her and. She has his brain in a bowl, hooked up to her computer and to a video camera.

And apparently he can yeah. Talk to her through the computer and he can see her through the camera. And she’s like, Hey baby, how are you? Does baby? What a tree? She says something about, I heard they found some frozen skiers. I’m going to check into that later, but then she does a strip tease for him and he’s like, Oh yeah.

Oh baby. Oh, Sparks shoot out the computer.

And that’s the end.

Todd: I got really excited there for a bit. Cause I thought, you know, neath Richards was going to do like a full on like Elvira at the end of a mistress of the dark or something. Oh my gosh. Am I about to witness it? Richard’s first nude scene. No, but she takes off her skirt and that’s enough to send this guy into convulsions.

Craig: So she’s got some like sexy lingerie on I’ll do it or a little dance. It’s awful

Todd: trying her best. Oh God, not her talent.

Craig: So funny. Uh, I can only imagine that anybody listening, who’s not seeing this movie must just, it has to sound like the most awful thing in the world, but it’s really not. It’s it’s not to be fair.

It’s completely juvenile and stupid. But it totally speaks to the 14 year old boy in me. And I just enjoyed it so much. It was, it was fun and I laughed and laughed and yeah, there, there was the blood and Gore. Um, and that’s great. Of course I, you know, I love that stuff, but this, uh, You know, you and I haven’t talked about it a lot on here because I think we don’t want to bum people out, but it’s kinda not the best of times.

And, um, uh, uh, you know, emotions are high and, and we’re all kind of stuck at home for the most part. And there’s all kinds of shit going on in the world. And so just to be able to sit down for an hour and a half and just look at something stupid and just laugh and not. Have to worry about the stuff that’s going on in the world.

It was a really nice reprieve and frankly, I, I need it this week. And, uh, I would, I would whole heartedly recommend this movie to horror fans, to, to screwball comedy fans. Um, even just people who are interested in, you know, oddities. I just had so much fun with it.

Todd: This is a goofy movie in the Mel Brooks vein, right.

It knew it was funny. It was playing it all totally up for laughs got a little bit of trauma in there with sort of the comedy mixed with the extreme Gore and the blood. I think that that balance still works for me. I mean, it’s just adds to the fun. I think it adds to the overt, the top ness of it because these Gore effects are none of it.

Played seriously, you know, it’s all completely over the top. It’s all hilariously rubber and over the top, but it’s fun. It works actually that dichotomy works and we’d be remiss if we didn’t say a few more things about the director of this movie, because he. Says that he’s the guy who people call when they have a project like this.

Like they need a writer and a director who can come in on some tax evasion movie scheme, which he said this basically was and quickly write something up and quickly shoot it and make it fun and entertaining. And he even he’s done the ice pirates. Have you ever seen that one? That is a hilarious, goofy movie kind of Saifai that he came in and, and ended up doctoring up, but.

He did mannequin on the move, you know, the second one Mac and me, which is just kind of like this movie, you know, just super, still silly corny, but has a strong appeal, I think for kids. But then he also did the Philadelphia experiment, which is a kind of well-respected science and science fiction.

Thriller. And he gets all of his, most of his rituals. He says from having written passenger 57, the Wesley Snipes, a thriller, at least he wrote the first draft of it. And he apparently still makes a ton of money. Yeah. Wow. So, I mean, this guy knew what he was doing delivered. I think in spades on the job he was given somehow managed to make this, uh, Animatronic dinosaur that he had for two weeks into a full on film that is fun and entertaining to watch.

Uh, I enjoyed it. I loved every minute of it. And you’re right. This is exactly the kind of levity that we need right now. So yeah, absolutely

Craig: good. I didn’t, I didn’t know if you would like it or not. I, I actually kind of picked it as revenge. Oh no, I didn’t think you turned out and I really am. Glad that you enjoyed it.

I, as soon as I got into it, I thought that it was right up our alley. So I’m glad you enjoyed it. Fun. All right. Well, anyway, thank you for listening to another episode of two guys in the chainsaw. If you enjoyed this podcast, please tell a friend, we would love to get some more listeners. And if you have any opinions about this movie or any of the others that we’ve done, and you’d like to.

With us, uh, drop us a note on Facebook, on our website. We love to hear from you guys, and we really try to respond to everybody who, uh, gets in touch with us. Uh, you can find our podcast all over the place, just people, two guys, and a chainsaw podcast, and we will be back, uh, sometime in the near future with a brand new movie for you.

So until then I’m Craig and I’m Todd with two guys and a chainsaw.


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