Leprechaun

We probably should've saved it for St. Patrick's Day, but one of the few franchises that we haven't hit couldn't have waited yet another year.

This "horror" film would have been better off as part of our kids' horror movie theme months. Nevertheless, we both held curiously fond memories about the inaugural episode of this long-lasting series of films.

Starring Warwick Davis, Leprechaun went to some crazy places - Vegas, The Hood (twice) and even outer space. We decided we'd start tackling this franchise by starting with the first, starring a fresh-faced Jennifer Aniston in her first film role, just a year before Friends. Enjoy our riff on it!

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Leprechaun (1993)

Episode 263, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: This week, I chose the movie. I picked a film that it was just a franchise that we’ve been meaning to get to that we, I haven’t even touched yet. This is 1993’s “Leprechaun”. Um, I, this movie, right, this movie is interesting. I, I first saw this movie in high school, so 1993, I was a sophomore in high school.

And I remember renting it from the video store. It was either that year might’ve been the, it might’ve been the following year. We rented it from the video store and we had it at one of those sleep over parties. It was a mix of people, guys and girls, and there was a girl I was kind of interested in. So I remember not pants too much attention to the movie.

And if you know what I mean, possibly even falling asleep in the middle of it, to be honest. And so my re my recollection of this movie is just in fits and starts. But I do remember that it was a bit of a. A bit of a cultural touchstone at the time, because Wayne’s world would always like reference it.

Right. Wouldn’t Wayne tease Garth by saying like, “I am the leprechaun. I’m going to come get you!”

Craig: I had forgotten about that.

“This next movie was great. I’ll be it. Upscale. It came out during the spring. It’s called the Leprechaun and yeah, the, uh, the leprechaun. Cool. I thought it was excellent. Yeah, it was really excellent. It was about this little mythical elephant creature with a really wicked tune. Do you remember that guy? Do you remember? I’m the leprechaun…”

Todd: Yeah, I think, uh, I think it kind of lived on more for that then, but then it spawned a number of sequels. There was a leprechaun two, a leprechaun, three leprechaun in the hood, leprechaun back to the hood leprechaun and space. And I’ve actually seen leprechaun in space. I

Craig: don’t know that I have, I, you talk about it incessantly, but I don’t think that I’ve seen it.

Todd: I think we need to do a theme month of in space movies. Cause there’s like a leprechaun and space. There’s like critters in space. There’s like, Jason goes to space at some point, right? Isn’t that? Jason X. Yeah. We’re totally going to do that one of these days. But, uh, but anyway, we can’t do the leprechaun franchise without hitting the very first one.

So that’s my background on the movie. How about you?

Craig: Yeah. I honestly don’t even remember. I, yeah, same, I guess I was in high school too. And I know I didn’t see it in the theater, but I definitely saw it and saw it. I’ve seen it a bunch of times. I’m sure. But it had been a really long time. Um, but they do play it on cable quite a bit.

And ironically, yesterday, When I needed to watch this for the show, um, I was flipping through the channels and it was on and not only was it on, but it was like right at the very beginning. And I was like, well, isn’t that cute? Yeah. And there was a, it was a marathon. I think they only went up through three on some cable channel, like comment or something.

I don’t know.

Todd: Do tell me you just kept going.

Craig: No, but I have, I mean, this isn’t the first time that I’ve seen them do that marathon and I have watched some of them and two isn’t particularly memorable, the lead protagonist or a young couple. I don’t know, it’s all about  blah, blah, blah. Right. I feel like the leprechaun like wants to marry the female or whatever.

And then the third one takes place in Vegas and is actually kind of fun is pretty funny. And those are the only ones I remember. I don’t think I saw any of the, in the hoods or, or space. And then after those, there was a big lull. And then they did a reboot, um, without Warwick Davis with a professional wrestle wrestler.

I hope I’m not getting this wrong. I honestly don’t remember, but I feel like the guy’s name is hornswoggle. Something like that. Oh, but he’s a professional wrestler and, and they tried to, uh, they wanted to take it back to real straightforward horror and get away from the comedy. And I watched, I think the first five or 10 minutes of that, and it was so bad, I turned it off.

I don’t even think I ever even saw the leprechaun. And then fairly recently, I don’t remember if it was Saifai somebody went back to the original franchise and they didn’t get Warwick Davis back. And I don’t remember why, but they went back with his look, uh, and went kind of back to the comedy. And some of the, at least one of the characters Ozzie from this movie, Was in that most recent one.

Um, and it referenced to the events of, uh, the first movie. And I haven’t seen it. I mean, I’d be willing to watch it, but I haven’t seen it, but yeah, I mean, this, this movie. As corn ball and goofy as it is, did spawn, you know, kind of a cult franchise. So, you know, there’s something to be said for that, frankly, going back, I have fond memories of this movie and going back and watching.

I’m a little curious as to

Todd: why, why Ising oh, isn’t that sad when that happens, right? It happens to us a lot on this show.

Craig: I mean, there is some cute and charming things about it. I mean, my favorite thing about the movie is Warwick Davis. I like more wick Davis. He’s a cool guy. Um, I think he’s a good actor.

He’s done. Some really good stuff. He was the lead in Willow, which I haven’t seen in years, but I just remember being a great fantasy movie. And, uh, he was in the Harry Potter films. He’s, he’s done lots. He was kind of a, um, you know, he and Billy Bardy were kind of the go-to, uh, little people for, for acting roles for a long time.

And this is one of the things that he’s most famous for. And, and really, he. W we’re Rick Davis is really responsible for what this movie is because it was conceived as a straight forward. Horror film and Warwick Davis saw his character as being more of a comedic character and, and the writer, director, Mark Jones, you know, he liked what Davis was doing with it.

And so he went along with this major tonal shift where it really became more of a comedy. And it is funny

Todd: in a really

Craig: well, in a really goofy, obvious kind of way. Yeah. Watching it this time. What struck me the most was that it feels like it’s meant to be a kid’s movie.

Todd: Yeah. That is exactly what I was thinking. I mean, this is along the lines of like troll and like the gate and these other kids’ movies. It really feels like that because like the level of humor and the way it’s done and it’s quite tame in many ways, apparently they had to go back in and reshoot to, to up the gore.

Right. Exactly. But even, even with that, it’s, it’s not gore. It’s not really that gory no effects. Blood on a face, you know, they’re not gross. Right. They’re not like, like what we’d normally see with these movies, especially this time period. Right.

Craig: Right. So it’s, it’s a lot of sight gags, you know, I was talking to my partner last night.

I’m like, okay. So here’s the movie. The leprechaun is on the try. Single the leopard gun is in a little car. Brick cotton is a skateboard. The leprechaun is on the roller skates. The leprechaun is in a wheelchair,

Todd: right. They hit all the major forms of transportation, except for like a plane and a helicopter, basically.

That’s it?

Craig: It was kind of hilarious. Just that it kept happening like, oh, like every, every scene was a gag. I mean, at one point the leprechaun is on the roller skates and he goes through a fence and leaves the leprechaun shaped hole in the fence. Like it’s so silly. Um, but you know, it’s a leprechaun Ray and I get the feeling.

That they knew what they were doing. That that’s what they were going for. They were going for site gags. They were going for goofy. And, uh, if that’s what they were going for, they certainly got it. I mean, it’s, it’s not scary. I mean, I don’t know what Garth was so afraid. Oh God. Because it’s not scary at

Todd: all.

And it, it it’s kind of a mess too. It didn’t get a lot of critical love the director. Um, the writer director, Mark Jones, um, comes from TV writing, mostly writing cartoons, like, uh, from the late seventies to the early to mid eighties, he was doing a ton of Hanna-Barbera stuff. And you know, Hanna-Barbera cartoons, they’re at like a thousand of them.

Right. Seriously. Mr Magoo. And then they’re all new super friends. Our captain caveman laugh Olympics, Yogi bear. Yeah. All that stuff. And he was writing for this stuff and did a little bit, I like did a couple episodes of the fall guy, but this was really like his attempt to break out and do a direct, you know, direct an actual feature film.

And so he wrote and directed this and you can see. Pedigree in the goofiness now. Yeah. I mean, I read the same thing that you did that Warwick Davis came in and said, look, we can, we can make this character more comical, but I’m sure that he coming from this background either already had some of that in there already, or at least was very well suited to be able to do this kind of silly kind of kids type.

You know, like you said, yeah, it’s just

Craig: goofy. Well, and I think that was the right way to go, because for sure, I think that, you know, a straight forward a horror movie about a leprechaun is you can’t get away from that being stupid. I mean, it’s just, it’s going to be stupid. In fact, you know, after immediately after this Mark Jones did another movie Rumpelstiltskin, I saw.

And it was awful, but I, I think that it was more straight forward horror, but it was just dumb, you know, like, uh, a little person in a costume running around barriers. His teeth looking stupid. And, and I, you know, it’s, it’s been probably, gosh, I don’t know, 20 or more years ago since I’ve seen that, but I just remember it being terrible.

So I think that taking the comedic spin on it yeah. Was the right way to go. But also, I don’t think that this movie would have. Any impact at all. And I think that it would have faded into obscurity and we would not be talking about it. Had it not starred Jennifer Aniston and her original name. Yeah,

Todd: I don’t, I love her original nose.

I didn’t see anything wrong with it.

Craig: It was a joy to see in this film I’m speculating. It just looks a little different to me, but no, I mean, It’s an unknown Jennifer Aniston. This was right before friends came out like right before, like the year before. And of course, as soon as friends came out, then Jennifer Aniston was a household name.

She was a huge superstar and this little stupid movie that she did did amazingly well on VHS because of her. Name recognition. I’m sure. It’s

Todd: why we rented it. I’m sure. Probably,

Craig: yeah. I don’t know. I rented everything, but yeah, she’s in this. She’s embarrassed by it. I understand why she might. Yeah. He, you know, uh, for a couple reasons, he at Warwick Davis at one point kind of publicly called her out for denying the existence of this movie and she responded and she acknowledged that this was.

Her first film success, but she’s just embarrassed by her roots by her early work. And, and she had done some other stuff too. There was a Ferris Bueller’s day off TV pilot that she did. She played Ferris’s sister. There was another, uh, right before she got friends, she was in another lame sitcoms. The, the producers of friends were able to get her out of her contract for that, so that they could get her on friends.

Uh, another interesting connection is that Jennifer Anniston comes from an acting family. Here it comes. Jennifer Aniston’s dad. John Anniston is a long time veteran of drum roll, please, which soap opera days.

Todd: I was coming. I didn’t know. No, but I knew by your buildup that we were going to get another soap, opera connection. That really, this is the only reason why I keep you on this show. Craig,

Craig: I like the days of our lives consultant.

Todd: You have the knowledge that I don’t have to really fill out all the. Big, sir,

Craig: John Aniston has been on days of our lives for probably 40 years and, and still is, uh, periodically at least I don’t watch it.

I haven’t watched it in years, but, uh, periodically he’s still on. He plays Victor Kiriakakis and, uh, sometimes hero sometimes. But I think if I remember correctly that Jen Aniston and her dad had a very strained relationship, I, I don’t think that he was very much present in her life. So I don’t think that, um, she really got much help from him in the industry.

I think that in their adult lives, that they’ve kind of reconciled, but I know that there was a lot of tension between them when she was a girl. Um, but anyway, here she is. And she’s, you know, she’s embarrassed by it. I can understand why, but really she shouldn’t be, it’s a bad movie. There’s, there’s nothing more really that she could have done with it.

You know, is she. No,

Todd: but what you’re saying is like the material she had to work with, right? I mean, the law writing is the writing for such an experienced writer is kind of shockingly bad. Yeah. It’s bad.

Craig: But, but the other thing that I want to dimension is the reason that she shouldn’t be embarrassed by it is because so many huge name actors got their start in crappy.

Horror movies, Matthew McConaughey, Renee Zellweger, Meg Ryan, um, Vigo, Mortenson, Brad Pitt. The list just goes on and on and on. And so, you know, what’s there to be ashamed of. You’ve got work. Put you out there loosen

Todd: up. Jen, come on, calm down. And the producers didn’t even want her on this movie. It was, it was Mark Jones who had to push and push and push to get her on there.

And again, really wise choice because as you said, that is probably the only reason why this thing did so well on the rental circuit is because of her presence. There are other recognizable characters in here. Oh gosh. Yeah. Alex, the little kid, Robert. Hi Gorman. You know, he’s not a name that you probably rattles off your, you know, your tongue, but he was one of these go-to little kids, right on TV and in movies, uh, at this time, uh, he was in forever young.

Just before this, which was a movie we used to watch a lot rookie of

Craig: the year. He was in one of the greatest movies of the 1990s. Don’t tell mom the babysitter said, oh God. Yeah, that is a coal Lassek. As far as I’m concerned. Totally recognizable.

Todd: And the guy in here who plays Ozzie again, not a dude that, you know, anybody could probably recall their names so quickly, but mark Holton is just a character actor in pretty much everything he was at pirate.

Remember

Craig: him? Yeah. Pee-wee’s big adventure. He was the bratty snotty grown man child. Uh, he’s hilarious in that movie and he’s pretty funny in this movie too, that again, this movie. Dated this character would never fly today. Um, I think that, uh, the, the safest thing that we can say to describe him is that he’s a simpleton, but it, I mean, it’s certainly implied that he’s in some way.

Mentally handicapped. And though he’s a lovable character w everything these days is just so PC and you have to be so very careful about, you know, representation, which I’m not saying is a bad thing. And I don’t even want to get into a big discussion about cancel culture because I have mixed feelings about it.

And I feel like no matter what I say, I’m going to piss somebody. Um, but it was a, it was a different time and, and his character is, is lovable. He, uh, Ozzy, that guy and the kid, Alex are kind of this cute little duo and they’re fun.

Todd: And then we have a hunky dude, the hunky dude can. Uh, and he, uh, was one of the guys in April fool’s day, which is another favorite of ours, uh, was on, uh, quite a bit of TV.

I dunno. I dunno if I didn’t really recognize him too much except for his role in, in April fool’s day, but a familiar as nice looking dude. Yeah, it looks familiar. And the father he’s barely a presence in the movie, but his name is, um, I think John Sanderford and he was in, Firestarter actually a lot of television.

What is it that I used to see him in? How do you, I guess you never a days of our lives.

Craig: Not that I’m aware of, but it wouldn’t

Todd: surprise me. He was, he was Crawford Decker and days of our lives. I’m telling ya

we should start a spinoff podcast. I’ve said it a

Craig: million times. I I’d have to watch it. Start watching the show again. I don’t know if I can commit that, but yeah. It’s a simple, it’s a very, very simple movie,

Todd: 15 minutes too long, in my

Craig: opinion. Oh my God. Really old. It was an hour and a half long. And I swear I was checking the timestamp every 10 minutes.

Yes, it was. It was way. Way, way too long. It would have been a really funny 30 minutes, I think. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, oh, just went on and on and on. And it was just like, even though it was different gags every time, it really wasn’t. It was really just the same gags over and over it.

Todd: The same type of gags. Right?

Ooh. The goofy leprechaun is, you know, dancing on a skateboard away from them. I mean, The first 20 minutes is way too long and that’s bad. You know, I don’t think the movie kicks off with a huge bang. Well, that was the,

Craig: I felt like that was the only part that was a little bit scary.

Todd: The first part, the very, very first scene.

I mean, well, in the opening, the leper, there’s a leprechaun that comes down some stairs that seem like they’re underground or something. And he’s counting his gold and talking about his gold and he does a little, a little nursery rhyme type thing. He speaks in rhyme every now and then, and, and sings these songs, which is kind of cute try

Craig: as they win.

And China’s they find who steals Vigo or live through

Todd: the night. But then we get a guy who swings up in a limo to an old country townhouse, uh, and his name is O’Grady. Strong Irish accent tosses, a bottle of Jamison. You know, his wife’s like, oh, Daniel Gray. What are you up to this time? The top Irish. And you think it?

Oh, okay. So this starts on Ireland now. It’s like somewhere. Um,

Craig: well he’s just come back. I w we’re not Nella. I know

Todd: that we’re in North Dakota for this. Cause the dad makes a, makes a comment about it earlier.

Craig: Right. And he comes, but he’s come, he’s come back from Ireland. He was going to his mother’s funeral, but he comes home rich and drunk and it turns out he tells you.

Wife that, uh, he caught a leprechaun, honey, God has gold. And like, he shows the bag of gold and, um, he’s going to go hide it or whatever, but there’s a storm, a Bruin. And while he’s out hiding the gold, uh, the wife here. Uh, child like crying and then singing from his suitcase. And so the kids, like, I can’t breathe in here, please let me out.

Todd: So that’s pretty good. Right. So she’s done this

Craig: before. I I’m a voice actor on the side. I don’t, if you didn’t know that, um, I’m just kidding. I’m not really, uh, but the, uh, separate God pops out of this suitcase and. Pushes the wife down the stairs and she’s dead. And then he comes back and chases the leprechaun around with a gun and the leprechauns, like taunting him and speaking in his wife’s voice and, um, acting very cocky until this guy pulls out a four leaf and then the leprechauns like, oh no, put that

Todd: away.

Yeah. It’s a real four-leaf Clover. It’s this it’s so silly, right? Because he’s holding this tiny little four leaf Clover in one hand and a big gun in the other hand. But you know, this is just between his thumb and forefinger as he holds this out, you know, it’s like a. A really comical version of like van Helsing advancing on

Craig: Dracula.

Yep. And that’s it exactly. It’s like across to a vampire, it, you know, he’s scared of it or whatever, and he gets the leprechaun into a crate, uh, and he’s going to burn it. I think he’s going to burn the house down, but he. I thought he died of a heart attack, but we find out later that he just, he had a stroke before you can burn it.

And then we shoot to 10 years later with this aerial shot of this car, driving through. What I, I imagine probably was California. It looked like California to me. And there’s like a cookie four leaf Clover song playing in the background kind of stupid.

Todd: Some very labored, uh, dialogue between, um, Jennifer Aniston’s character, Tory and her dad.

And it’s just basically setting the scene point and, and, you know, part of the problem with this movie, it was, I think there were setups without payoffs here or themes that were, I thought they were trying to establish early in the movie that didn’t actually go anywhere. One of these things is that, you know, she’s her dad’s was hauling her out.

Middle of the nowhere Backwoods place to this cabin that he’s gotten for them for some, I don’t know if it’s, if it was ever explained why she’s this Beverly Hills, you know, kind of prissy, prissy girl. Supposedly very concerned about money and all of that. I’m

Craig: going to be miserable here. There’s no swimming pool.

There’s no shopping malls. There’s no cable, but you don’t even have it to you. They are the shrink Beverly

Todd: Hills a little bit later. There’s a line where he actually says to her, you know, there are more important things in life that money, and she’s kind of like, oh really? Well, what would that be? Um, she tries to pay a guy.

Later and, and I thought, oh, okay. So, you know, the leprechaun, the gold thing, somehow she’s going to have some character arc where, you know, the sun going to have something to do with her love of money. And just going to realize that that leads to issues and problems. You know, I thought maybe she would get the gold, you know, something like that, nothing like that at all.

That’s just kind of completely dropped.

Craig: She’s just a very flat Beverly Hills princess type character. And I. Imagined she didn’t have to dig too far to

Todd: probably

Craig: not. Will she? She wears LA gear sneakers. Oh my God. Oh, no hurt. Like these denim shorts with like pattern fabric sewn into it and a body suit that I guarantee you snapped at the crotch.

It’s so. Early nineties. I mean, it’s, it’s funny for she. She has. A portable phone and that’s what she calls it. Like, hold on. I’ll use my portable,

Todd: which time? I mean, come on like this, he, she had a little flip phone there I’m surprised she had a signal out there. I didn’t know. We had such cell coverage in 1993.

Honestly, we probably didn’t. They go out to this shack, which was the old Grady’s place, except it’s all grown over and it’s out in the middle of nowhere, kind of at the foot of some mountains. And they spend an awful lot of time in the basement. It’s like they go into the house. The first place they go is the basement.

And this basement probably like the size of my living room, but they spend a lot of time like looking around. And God, that was when I first started looking at it, I watch, I was like, God, just get out of the basement already. They’re having their whole conversation there. And she’s like, oh, grody. Oh, a spider.

Ooh,

Craig: this, and it’s a church ranch that always cracks me up and stupid horror movies where they’re just to ranches crawling around and they’re like, Ooh, a spider. Like, I’d be freaked out. If I saw tarantula in my house too.

Todd: Man. How often does that happen though? In real life? Not already

Craig: here in Australia.

That’s where all the big scary things are. I don’t know, I guess. Um, but yeah, the, the dialogue is, is just, it’s just terrible all around and, and she keeps talking about how. You could, if you took a shot every time she said she was going to get a reservation at a hotel, you would be dead.

Todd: That’s right.

Craig: So she runs out of the house cause she’s going to go to a hotel, but then she bumps into the hot guy and the hot guy is Nathan.

He’s like the head of this painting crew called three guys who paint and it’s. And Alex, the kid, a child and Ozzie, the simpleton and how these boys, men are related to one another is never explained, like, I guess they just all live together and paint houses in the most garish colors. You can imagine.

That’s

Todd: right. Bright blue and

Craig: red. It looks so stupid and like it’s a terrible term. Well paid job. And they’re just throughout, like the first 45 minutes of the movie. They’re just painting this one, like three by three spot on the house in these ugly, bold, like it looks like tempura paint.

Todd: I thought for a minute, I was watching cool as ice, you know, that was how it was, how the houses are all painted in that movie.

And it’s like, they switched from blue to paint a little bit of red on the shutters, but didn’t finish painting the shutter and just went back to painting blue again on the wall. They spend hours out there, then they need to go get more paint. Apparently.

Craig: And Jen Aniston, because there’s a hot guy. Now she is going to stay and she wants to say, and she’s like flirting with him and helping.

And at some point there’s a stupid, there’s a stupid gag where we don’t even see how it happens, but Ozzie gets paint, dumped all over his head. So he has to go inside to get cleaned up and he goes downstairs and the leprechaun tricks him using the kid’s voice, uh, into getting him out of the crate. And he gets out of the car.

And then Ozzy runs upstairs. Like there’s a leprechaun down there in the 30 seconds that he’s been gone. Jen Aniston has managed to get paint all over her arms. Like

didn’t nobody tell you how to paint exactly

Todd: by the way. She’s not wearing an apron or anything with her fancy expensive clothes here. Good thing. She only managed to get it on her arm. Yeah. And so then

Craig: of course, you know, they think, oh, just simple Ozzie, but they go down there to, you know, check it out or whatever, and they, they uncover a rat or something.

And so they, they, they, they write it off. Um, all of

Todd: this at this point is, is playing like a Disney movie of the week. This is what I was like, oh God, this is totally like a kid’s movie is what I was thinking at the time. But I remembered it being gory. So I was holding out for the gore. Well, in the

Craig: leprechaun says like, when he’s talking to Aussie Aussie, he’s like, what are you?

And he’s like, see me, hat Buchard is out in my shoes. I just, this is the stupidest.

Todd: Oh my God. And then comes apart that I still don’t understand. So they go down, they haven’t found the leprechaun. All our phones are leprechaun, it’s a mouse. Then they come out of the house. And as soon as they get out of the house, a rainbow paints across the sky,

Craig: in the middle of a perfectly clear day.

And yes, I didn’t remember that at all. It is like the reading rainbow, like, yes, it just shoots across

Todd: the sky and they look up and they’re like, oh, it’s a rainbow. Here. It just, there’s a lot of this, like unbelievable, just complete disconnect holes in the movie and the plot and things. I just don’t understand why Ozzie, like Harry, you know, what they say is at the end of a rainbow pot of gold, maybe we can go get the pot of gold and he goes tearing off and Alice goes, tearing.

After him to look for the gold at the end of the rainbow, which they immediately

Craig: fine, which they do

Todd: because the rainbow literally like it comes right down onto a broken down truck and the gold materialize. In front of us inside this truck. So they’re look inside the truck, they find a little gold piece and then AF as they’re looking a bag materializes.

So what is the deal? Did the leprechaun make the golden. It can’t be no

Craig: looking.

Todd: It is right. So the O’Grady hid the gold, but he didn’t hide it in the old truck. Did he? Or if he did just, why wasn’t it just there he realized. And why did this rainbow suddenly come up right after the leprechaun was left, was taken out of the crate because

Craig: this is a children’s movie.

It feels so much like a children’s movie, like not, you know, so that they follow to the end of the rainbow and then the rainbow disappears. But then as they’re like walking by the truck, the little gold piece in the truck, like sparkles and there’s like a twinkle sound effect, just like, oh, Gold piece in there.

It feels like it was made for children for like grade school children. It’s crazy that you will, Alex is all excited. He’s getting, they’re going to, if it’s real, you know, they’re rich, but they can’t tell any of the grown-ups because grown-ups, you know, grown up. Sorry. Especially with money, they’ll just take it.

So he tells Ozzie that he can keep the one piece that they found, but he’s going to keep the sack. And they’re like, is it real? And Ozzie’s like, oh, well I know how to tell if it’s real, you just bite it. And then the camera cuts away for a minute and then it cuts back and he’s choking. He swallowed it.

Todd: Alex says the weirdest thing he says, we can get you

Craig: to make smart. She would go to the hospital and have them operate and fix your brain. But I’m smart. Sorta what it means is we can make you real smart in a way. People won’t make fun of you. They make fun of me. Not in front of you behind your back. Come on. Let’s go.

You’re so mean. This guy was oblivious to the fact that people were talking about him. Mine is back. And you’re just going to tell him,

Todd: like for no, no reason, like what was the point? He didn’t have to convince him of anything in particular at this moment. Right. He was just getting them excited about having gold or something.

And also the soundtrack follows through with this sort of Disney feel. And I felt like, oh, this kind of, this slightly sad, poignant moment where this guy for the first time ever realizes that maybe he’s not quote unquote normal, like everybody else and is affected. And I thought that was going to go somewhere, but it didn’t, they just have this moment and then you scamper off and that’s really the last we hear about it until much later when the boy admits that he told Ozzie that they would fix his brain and Tori says, there’s no operation that can change Ozzie.

And he says, yeah, but he doesn’t know that. What w you had no need to first tell this guy there’s something wrong with them and then tell him, but we can. To what end? I, it was so weird.

Craig: I mean the whole character

Todd: of Ozzie was

Craig: problem. Yeah. And I would be interested. I would be interested to see the newest movie because Ozzie’s in it.

And I would be interested to see if he still plays at the same way. I imagine that he does, but it’s just, it’s not. You can’t say that, oh, he is this or, oh, he has this, like, he’s just childlike. Like he’s playing it like a, uh, he’s a grown man, but he acts like a little kid. Yeah. Um, I don’t know. It’s it’s awkward.

It didn’t bother me in the nineties, frankly. It doesn’t bother me now, but again, it’s too comical. I feel like it just wouldn’t fly today. Yeah. Anyway. Uh, the leprechaun. Strokes Tories legs from under the truck, which is crazy. And like she thinks it’s Nathan, like, so she thinks that Nathan crawled under the truck to stroke her legs.

Todd: What, so right after he just walked by her like moments ago and then dad says, oh, it’s just an old possum, honey. And then they all kind of turn and they hear a cat Meow and they’re all facing off screen. But we never see a cat. We just see them facing off screen and a cat meowing a few more times and they go, oh, it was.

It’s just the weirdest editing choices, right? Like usually the cat meows, everybody turns, and then we get a shot of the cat and then, oh, it was just, you know, cat, everybody was standing here and this fricking cat off screen,

Craig: it’s the leprechaun making a cat noise

Todd: inside the stump of a tree.

Craig: Right. And the dad like reaches his whole arm down in there.

Why? Like, just leave it alone. Gee, you need a cat right now. And if the leprechaun bites him and he pulls his arm, his handout, and I don’t know what they think. Was in there because it looked like a alligator bit, his hand, or

Todd: it’s like half his hand. This is huge chunk out of it. Yeah.

Craig: It’s it’s really. Yeah.

So then they take him to the hospital, which gets him out of the way for the rest of the movie, but it also gets them in town so that Alex and Ozzie can. The coin to the coin store, to Joe’s

Todd: coins.

And Joe is more than happy to let them in. And he looks at it and he’s like, oh, these are interesting markings on here. Can I keep this overnight and study it? Sure. And then this is where, uh, you know, I kind of stopped paying attention. Well to the movie. So they leave Ozzy and Alex leave. And of course we know what’s going to happen to Joe with his leprechaun coin.

He tried locks up, but he hears noises and he turns to open his safe, to put the coin away. And when he opens the safe out, jumps the leprechaun. So this leprechaun can presumably just kind of be wherever he wants. He can materialize and CLO in locked safes. He can materialize  whatever. He has to ride a tricycle all the way out behind the van to get to town.

And then he has to steal once he kills Joe and gets his coin with a Pogo

Craig: stick. And I imagine that this is one of the kills that they probably put in and reshoot. So they’re like we need more gore. So the leper con I don’t, he gets the guy down on the ground. Somehow, but then he goes over and gets a Pogo stick and just Pogo sticks on his chest wildfire.

Reciting this Limerick

lap teach you to steal. It’s very silly and very stupid. And the gore effects are not good. I mean, it’s just blood. I mean, I, I guess it kind of looks it’s the color of blood, I guess, but it kind of doesn’t make any sense.

Todd: you barely see anything. I mean, the idea of a guy Pogo, sticking someone to death is intriguing and it would be kind of horrifying, but you can’t even see. All you see is kind of the end result, which is just a, guy’s laying there with some blood on him. Yeah.

Craig: And from like you said, well, or excuse me, I feel like this is what kind of, what you were getting at from this point.

Nothing really happens. Like it’s just the leprechaun running around. Like he steals this little car from the coin store and then gets pulled over by a cop. And there’s a big, long, long. Seen of him like playing with the cop, playing hide and

Todd: seek with the cop, huge diversion from his quest for gold. You know what I mean?

He’s not so single-minded that he can’t spend 20 minutes running around and playing hide and seek with this cop in

Craig: the woods, kills him. He breaks his neck, but serious of that scene went on for forever. It feels like they’re stretching for time. Oh, I like the plot is so simple that they have to throw in these scenes because they’re trying to get to an hour and a half.

And it feels like it’s a little bit painful. The leprechaun goes back to the house and searches the house and like finds a box of lucky Clover cereal, which is obviously. Uh, lucky charms knock off, uh, lucky charms agreed to be featured in the movie. And then they saw the movie and pulled back out, which I don’t blame them.

Okay. But it, it, it w I mean, it’s kind of funny, but what’s the point. I mean, Hardy har he finds the lucky charms and then he eats it and spits it out stupid, and then shines all the shoes in the house. Like he is compel. To shine shoes. Like he has to, like, if he see shoes, he has to shine them. That’s important.

Todd: Yeah. That’ll pay off later.

Craig: The gang all comes. Yeah. They all come back. They find the mess, they find the shoes.

Todd: That’s right. And they’re just sort of like, oh, this is weird. You know, like it just kind of, they’re just willing to kind of. Throw their hands in the air and go, oh, well, whatever, you know, at some of this stuff and

Craig: probably a bear, the bear has come down here.

Everyone’s got no big deal then. Oh yeah. Don’t worry about that.

Todd: Worry about that. Bears will come into your house when you’re not home. Right. And as far as the shoes go, who knows whatever, I’ll bear like shoes. So then the Nathan. I’m going to go check out the bedrooms and find out where we’re going to stay tonight.

And I’m like, did they all come out here? Did they have no plan? Like

Craig: the painters are going to stay

Todd: at the house, right? Don’t they have a home of their own. And then I just dawned on me. This house is still just chock full of cobwebs. Like, even though the dad had fully stocked the kitchen pantry, he couldn’t at least dust off the very shelves.

He was putting the lucky charms cereal on, they were cobwebs over doors, the cabinet doors that they were all opening and closing. And I thought, my God, they spent a lot of time painting the outside of the house, but not even dusting off the table. They were planning to eat at that night or making a bed.

That they were planning to sleep. And why

Craig: are they even there? This is this, their vacation in this shit, whole house, like rock in it. Nathan goes out to like, I don’t know, they hear a noise or something. So he goes out and it falls into a bear trap that apparently the leprechaun set and then the leprechaun reveals himself and everybody sees him and like he’s attacking Nathan and everybody else is just standing here.

Whacking them with stuff

and Ozzie calls the cops. But obviously this also Jen Anniston, when she’s not saying that she’s gonna, uh, be going to a hotel, she’s ordering people around, like she’s, she’s constantly telling Ozzie and Alex what to do. She tells Ozzie to call the cops. But of course they don’t believe him because, you know, simple, Ozzy’s like, it’s the attack, it’s the attack, the leprechauns attackings in the armies.

And the Alex gets a shotgun. Nathan shoots the leprechaun. They think he’s dead, even though the body’s not there. Uh, and then story gets the trap off Nathan and she’s like, Nathan, that was enough there. So I also felt like they were like, they had to try to get the R rating safe. A couple of times we only need two.

We only need two for the AR

Todd: oh my God. The other thing is that you are shooting this leprechaun a hell of a lot. The leprechaun gets shot by people. I don’t know how many times, and it seems to work, but it really doesn’t, but the leprechaun will just lay there and then they just walk away from it for a little while and chatter.

And then when they come back to look for the leprechauns yeah. And so at this point I would be thinking, all right, well, obviously shooting a leprechaun, doesn’t do anything, but all they do for the rest of the movie is get chased by the leprechaun and chase the leprechaun with guns in their hands, trying to continually trying to shoot it.

And when they do end up shooting it and it’s dead on the ground, they walk away from it.

Craig: Well, I, I mean, I guess it does immobilize him momentarily, but I think that the suggestion don’t take advantage of them. Not really, eventually they, they try to get in the car and go away, but the leprechauns sabotage the car and the leprechaun attacks and bites Aussies,

Todd: but th they keep trying to take this junky car with a, with a wet wonky distributor.

Why don’t they take the frickin

Craig: right. That she has well, okay. So

Todd: the camera pans across the Jeep on

Craig: their way to, I know it doesn’t make any sense. And eventually they, you know, they’re like, oh, well he just wants to gold. So we have to give them the gold. And Ozzy is like, oh, well not Ozzy. Alex is like, well, I hit it in the well, so go out, you know, pull up the bucket, it’s in the bucket.

So. Tori goes out there and she pulls it up and it’s in there and the leprechaun operates, you know, right in front of her. And she gives him the gold and he kisses her on the cheek and she runs inside and she’s like, oh, well it’s over. Cause he got the gold or whatever, but then the leprechaun counts, the gold and one coin is missing the one that Ozzy swallowed.

So he’s not satisfied. He attacks again. And they’re like, what do we do? We can’t kill it. And, uh, somebody, one of the boys is like, well, we should ask Mr. O’Grady, this was his house. And he used to always talk about leprechauns and stuff. So we should ask him and they’re like, well, where is he in a rest home?

So Tori jumps in the Jeep. To go to the rest home and leaves the rest of them there. Why that doesn’t make any sense? Why, why wouldn’t they all go? First of all, and secondly, the leprechaun follows and chases her. Why. She doesn’t have the gold it’s Ozzy. He’s got it. It makes no sense. And there’s this whole stupid scene.

Like it should have been cut. It’s one of the many scenes that it should have been. Where she goes and creeps around this rest home for an hour,

Todd: worst rest home in the USA, which has a sleeping security guard. You could just walk right by and it’s dead, silent and completely dark

Craig: all night long and right in front of the sleeping guard, there’s a tablet.

That says in huge letters on the front room, numbers like that, and like written in Sharpie so dumb. She goes and she finds Mr. O’Grady’s room and she talks to him, but I surprised not him. It’s leprechaun. Then the leprechaun chases her around. Wheelchair. And it’s just the goofiest looking thing.

Todd: Then she chases her, he chases her onto an elevator and she, the elevator doors happened to shut just as she gets in there.

And as she’s going down in the elevator suddenly, oh, Grady falls through the roof of the house.

Craig: And it’s just hanging there. Like the butt is alive long enough to tell her that you need a four leaf Clover. If, if you can get a four leaf Clover and you can touch him with it, then you can kill him. And he’s like, there’s a, there’s a Clover pack.

Back at the house. So she jumps in her Jeep and heads back to the house and the stupid leprechaun follows her in the wheelchair. He

Todd: should have told her that there was a four-leaf Clover in the basement on top of that crate. Well, it has

Craig: to be freshly plucked. It’s what he

Todd: said. It worked for 10 years on that.

Craig: Great though. I know don’t ask me, I didn’t write it.

Todd: Why the leprechaun, who teleported next to her, you know, next to the, the, well, hasn’t just teleported back home. Why did he take that wheelchair all the way to the house and will that cause that

Craig: wouldn’t be as funny and see, I mean, we skipped all of these things, but I already mentioned them. Roller skates, skateboard, like anything with wheels that you can imagine he’s in at some or on at some point.

And there’s one point where he’s like, it’s like, you know, At carnivals, those old like shooting galleries where something will just go back and forth across

it’s him on a skateboard. Like he’s, he’s standing up on it that he’s laying down on it. And then he’s like, I don’t know, doing a headstand doctor. It’s like, it’s just the most,

Todd: it sounds funnier than it is, especially by this point in the movie when you’ve seen enough of this shit. So, okay. Yes,

Craig: they, okay.

So they get back and she goes to the glowy. Cloverfield site glows. She looked so it looks, can’t find it. The leprechaun chases her back inside. Eventually they they’re the three adults, ones, Ozzy, Nathan, and her ended up back there. Meanwhile, Alex is trying to set a trap for the leprechaun or something.

And then there’s this whole stupid, Tori’s like, we’ll never find it. This is so stupid. We don’t have the time in Ozzy. It’s like, yes, you will. You will find it. You just have to believe.

Todd: And she’s like, dammit, Ozzy, I’m tired of your time. Fairies and leprechauns and all of that. We don’t have time for that now.

And he’s like, you lost your faith, you can do it. You just got to believe. And so she closes her eyes and she just reaches into the Clover patch.

Craig: Okay, fine. I believe has that. And lo and behold, Oh, she pulls up the four leaf Clover. Like where is this coming from? When did this become a movie about

Todd: faith, faith?

Like what’s crazy. So

Craig: stupid. The leper con gets Alex and a is attacking him. The rest of them run in and Ozzie’s like, it’s not him. You want it to me. I swallowed the coin. And so then the lever starts chasing him and he eventually gets him and start slash Adam. I felt bad for this poor guy, because like it’s in his stomach, quit slashing in his face mean, but, uh, the, the kid Alex takes the four-leaf Clover.

Puts it on a wad of gum and pulls back, his Slingshot gets the leprechauns tension, lucky charms, which is the only good lie in the whole movie. And he shoots it and that goes right in the leprechauns mouth. And then the leprechaun is an agony and he like stumbles over to the well, and he melts. Gremlins style like spike at the end of gremlins, except there’s also like, you know, no, like green lightning lights stuff around or whatever, he falls back into the well, and they’re like, yay, it’s over.

But then he crawls back up and I don’t know, says something stupid. And Nathan pops him back down and dumps gasoline in there and lights it and it explodes. Cause that’s how guests. Works. It’ll look like a bomb.

Okay. And then it’s morning and the cops are there and the dad is there and it’s all over and everything is fine. But the camera pans to the well, so that the leprechaun can say some rhyme about how he’ll be back. Um, any. Because that’s what happens in the second movie that some other group of dummies ends up at that house.

And somehow he gets resurrected out of the well, and it just goes from there. Oh God. Wow. Honestly, like I liked it. I remember liking it and I guess I. Just, you know, I guess when we’re teenagers, we’re just idiots. I mean, I, I mean, that’s for sure. True.

Todd: Well, we had a different level of horror movie around us at that time too.

And wick Davis and Jennifer Anniston, and it was a leprechaun and it was silly and goofy and, and Wayne’s world was talking about it and, you know, and I mean, I can kind of put myself back there and, and remember how I was and how I felt and what we had to work with. No that why I maybe liked it. But as I admit, I was only half paying attention to it.

I think if I actually had to sit down and pay attention, take fricking notes on this movie back then, like I did now, even my teenage self back in 1993, wouldn’t have, would have been pretty pissed. Yeah,

Craig: I don’t know, but I can almost imagine that kids like little kids might still find this amusing just because the humor is so juvenile and, and goofy and that’s not a hit on kids.

I’m just saying, it seems like it’s, it’s more, yeah. It’s, it’s oriented towards, you know, A younger audience that would appreciate maybe the silliness of it more. Um, and, and kids, you know, there’s a little bit of gore a little bit and, and some kids would probably be effected negatively by that. But I, you know, I know a lot of little kids who are, you know, Playing call of duty or whatever.

So they’ve definitely seen worse. I’d let little kids watch it. If I was confident that they could handle that little bit of glory. I mean,

Todd: if they could see any of the other kitty type movies that we’ve seen gremlins or, or, you know, I mean, they could watch

Craig: this for sure. Sure. And, and they might find it funny.

I, on the other hand am old and jaded and. Rolling my eyes and looking at my watch, like, come on. Why is this over?

Todd: And this was a surprise for both of us, right? Like we just did not remember it this way, but

Craig: you know, I’d be re I’m very interested to hear what our listeners. Think about it. And if they’ve seen it now, you know, as adults and what they think of it now, uh, and if there’s, if they still appreciate it for reasons beyond the scholarship, because.

I know that nostalgia is a very powerful force, but, uh, beyond that, so let us know, you know, leave us a comment on our webpage or, um, on, on Facebook. Uh, if, if, if you’re in the same boat as. Where you appreciated it for what it was the time, but now it’s something different. Or if you think that we’re just being dicks.

I bet that’s the thing, Todd. I don’t, I don’t think we’re snobby guys. We’re not in

Todd: time. Nest algebra saves a lot of movies for us at the end of the day. We’re willing to overlook a lot for that. And this one just, uh, it didn’t work this time. I

Craig: mean, it was, I enjoyed watching it cause I knew we’d have a good time talking about it.

But beyond that, um, I certainly would never have any reason to watch it from start to finish again. I mean, if, if it were on and there was nothing else on and I wasn’t really paying any attention anyway. Sure. Let it play in the background, but. Uh, that’s about it. Yep.

Todd: Agreed. Well, thank you for listening to another episode.

If you enjoyed this one, please share it with the friends. You can find us online, just search to guys and the chainsaw podcast on Google, and you’ll find our Facebook page, our Twitter feed and our website. You can just leave us one of these comments on any one of those places. We’ll get back. And we will be getting back to more requests here very soon until next time.

I’m Todd and I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.


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