The Mutilator

Ahhhh...just what we were looking for as spring hits: A movie about Fall Break. Whatever that is, it's the sunny original title of the forgettable-but-memorable 80's slasher "The Mutilator" that everyone has already forgotten about. You love those "so bad it's good" movies? Look no further. We got exactly what we were looking for with this one, with a catchy theme song thrown in. Some films just go the extra mile.

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The Mutilator, a.k.a. Fall Break (1984)

Episode #253, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Today’s request is a long standing request. Actually it comes to us from long-standing listener, Dave, and it is 1984’s The Mutilator. The Mutilator is a sinister, sinister title. I passed by this on the video store shelves when I was a kid, it did catch my eye. Got a hook in the foreground and big hook being held by a hand, dripping with blood and some really scared teenagers in the background behind it. Nevertheless, I never picked it up. I never watched it until this very night. I don’t know. It’s just something about it.

Uh, we were in the mood for an 80 slasher. This is 1984 and, uh, was going through the request list. This popped up and it happens to be available on Amazon prime. And Craig said, Oh yeah, I’ve seen it. I remember a little bit of that. Huh? So this will be interesting to do, but definitely first time seeing it and I finished watching it about 20 minutes ago. Craig. How about you? What’s the, what’s your history with this film?

Craig: It’s funny. Cause when you recommended it, I said, Oh yeah, I’ve seen it. And then I went to play it again. I didn’t know it was on Amazon prime. I wish I had, cause I found it on Tubi, which is a free streaming service it’s ad supported. So you have to watch commercials.

So that’s where I saw it and where you can find it for free if you are interested. But when I went to play it, yeah. Uh, it started it about 30 minutes in, so I realized that I had started watching it, but I hadn’t finished it. I like to go to, to B when I’m grading papers, especially like not essays, but just like grading, like, like worksheets and papers and stuff like that, that I don’t have to put.

Tons of thought into, I like to put on old horror movies that I haven’t seen just to kind of have in the background. And again, here we go, you know, recommending these streaming services, but to be as free and, uh, they have a huge, huge. Horror catalog a lot of stuff that I’ve never seen or heard of. And this was one of those, I don’t remember seeing this on the shelves.

I don’t remember thinking or knowing anything about it back in the day until I just came across it online. But, uh, Yeah. I wonder why. And I think, yeah, that’s the thing. Understand why I’d never really heard of it. I understand why I don’t hear much about it because there’s really not much special about it, but it’s typical.

It’s, it’s a typical eighties slasher. It hits all the notes. You would expect it to hit a bunch of horny. College kids get together. They don’t go to a cabin in the woods instead they go to a condo, the beach

that is that’s the, that’s the goal big that kind of sets it apart from any other typical eighties, slasher that, all that being said, I mean, it’s fine.

Todd: Well, it’s it’s exactly, really what I thought it would be more or less turned out, you know, to deliver exactly what I was looking for, which was what you’d described, a typical 80 slasher that hits all the notes, but it’s been lost to time because it’s not particularly great, which oftentimes means, you know, it’s so bad.

It’s good. And we can laugh about it. We can make. The fun of it. And I, I think we’re going to have a ball talking about this movie because despite, you know, the fact that it’s paint by numbers, there are a few charm points in here. There are, there are a few elements, uh, that when we get to them as we’re recounting the movie that you’re going to go.

Oh, at least I did. You know, I’ve made movies. I think people on here probably know that don’t get me wrong. You’re not going to be able to rent them anywhere. You’re not going to find them on Tubi I’m not going to pretend. They’re amazing. But you know, I know what that was like to go out and make a film and gather friends together and do it.

And for that reason, I tend to appreciate most movies. Even the really bad ones. Even the really, really amateurish ones like this one back in my mind, I’m thinking it’s still got some heart, you know, there were people obviously involved in this. Clearly, if you look at the cast list, you know, the directors last name shows up in like five different places.

So, you know, he brought his family in, on some of these things. And then when you go to the trivia section and I MDB, it’s almost cute, you know, it’s like, Writer director, buddy Cooper kept a lot of the props used in this film. Well, yeah, of course he did. It’s the only movie he ever made and probably most of those props came from his house in the first place.

Right. Ruth Martinez still in college when she made this film. Well, yeah, that’s obvious, you know, and the climax was shot in a single night again. No, I’m not surprised. It’s just that kind of movie. But I have to say as a guy who at one time just imagined he would be making movies for a living. I so wish I was of age in this era and was in a place with resources and smart enough to know what a cash cow, horror films, slasher movies like this were, it came out in 1984.

Even those movies is totally this movie had a different title. Before it was the muda later, it was called spring break. Fall break. Yeah. Fall break. Sorry. Fall break. Because it was kind of the only thing left, right. Because we’d had prom night at this time, there were all of these movies, prom night, April fool’s day coming out around holidays and things like that final exam.

And so of course this was shamelessly made. By one guy just to capitalize on this thing and it made a bunch of money for him. It didn’t go down in history as a remembered and well loved film, but there it was, I mean, he did it, he put it out there and we are going to fricking talk about it 40 years later, which is kind of remarkable, you know?

So in that respect, I’m going to really enjoy talking about this movie and picking out the charming points while at the same time, laying it all on the table from the beginning. It’s pretty dumb. It’s pretty silly paint by numbers, standard slasher, but we’ve seen so much worse. Oh yeah.

Craig: Right. I mean, yeah.

W I mean, we’ve seen worse and we’ve also seen movies that got a lot more attention that people remember that weren’t necessarily any better, you know, it’s just. Kismet that some movies find an audience and some don’t. And this one I find charming for similar reasons that you do. Uh, I did a student film in college.

Um, I played. I don’t even really remember. I think one of my friends, a guy, I don’t know if I should say people’s real names, but I’m going to Pat McGowan. Did you know him in college? We went to college. We went to college together. No, no. Anyway, he made a student film and I started in it. Like, I don’t even have it.

You say you can’t find your movies on any of these streaming services? The one, the one that I was in, I don’t even have, but it was, it was a lot of fun. To make, it sounds like this was to the actors who were involved really had a good time and they hung out together and partied together at night, the movie was shot in chronological order and most of the actors.

Save one stuck around even after their characters were killed off just to watch and hang out and have a good time. And that’s endearing to me. And I don’t know, you know, the acting in this movie is not amazing. I read several reviews and several reviews were very critical of the acting. I thought it was fine.

Todd: Oh, he did. Oh God. I thought it was

Craig: fine. I didn’t, you know, we’re, we’re not talking Shakespeare here, you know?

Todd: Oh, come on, man.

Craig: They knew their lines. They, they delivered them with some expression. Like it was all right.

Todd: They delivered their lives without grammatical mistakes. And therefore the acting is perfectly fine.

I need the right example. Great either. Right. So, I mean, always in these movies, you’ve got to cut the actor, some Slack when the material that they’re working with. Isn’t isn’t exactly Shakespeare either, right? Well,

Craig: and they’re kids. I don’t have any idea how old these kids were. I’m guessing somewhere in their twenties.

You know, you said that one girl was in still in college? Yeah, probably. I mean, they were probably most of them, you know, fresh out of college, I would guess. Yeah. As is typically the case. The actors look older than the characters they’re meant to play, I think, but I don’t know. Just overall, like watching the movie, I thought, yeah.

I mean, it’s, it’s a competent slasher film, but I’m just saying, like, if you look at the performances in this movie and compare them directly to the performances and Friday the 13th, which spawned a huge franchise, it’s not dissimilar.

Todd: No. You’re right. And as far as everything else goes in this movie, I mean the cinematography, everything else, I mean, it’s not remarkable, but it is certainly not terrible.

I mean, we have seen terrible. We have seen people say to me, like all the people always love to say, Oh, this was like the worst movie ever made, you know, like the latest movie, starring the rock, you know, the cost $5 million or whatever. Please, you, you do not have a horror film podcast with who’ve been going on for over 250 episodes.

You know what I mean? You have not seen the drag of the drag, like we have seen and you’re right. I mean, this is kind of like, Friday the 13th level material and filmmaking, I think more or less, you know, what’s great about this. The movie starts out with the woman making a birthday cake and the music is just so nice.

And it’s one of these movies that starts with. Nice playful, cheerful, kind of happy music. Cause you know, something horrible is about to happen because that’s how these movies always start and she’s baking a birthday cake and it’s like happy birthday. And then there’s a little boy named ed who’s in the other room who was very cheerfully sticks, a sign up on his dad’s.

Gun cabinet that says happy birthday, daddy, they’re all clean. Thanks to me. Thank God button cabinet. And I’m like, Oh shit. Like really?

Craig: I know,

Todd: but I did thinking the same thing I did. He was gonna kill himself. And what he ends up doing is, well, he’s, you know, Ineptly cleaning this gun up, staring down the barrel of it and everything.

He just raises it up and buy and it’s loaded and it shoots through the kitchen door and kills his mom. So his mom who is decorating a cake, so it’s a family tragedy. And at that moment, when he goes in to see what happened, his father stumbles in and his father, it must have been decided some point in the casting of this film that his dad was good enough to play.

The dad in this movie, but not to speak. Yeah, because he says nothing and he just kind of stumbles in and sees what happens. And it’s the whole thing is almost done in pantomime where it is dramatic pantomime, where he kind of confronts us, spawn son slaps him, um, and then drags his wife’s body

Craig: away. Yeah.

I mean, the way that this opening scene is presented, it, it’s almost laughable. Like, you know, what’s going to happen. I mean, I, I don’t know it, as soon as you see that a kid is going to be cleaning guns and you know, you’re in a horror movie, something bad is going to happen, truthfully, you know, Lock up your guns.

People I’m being serious. This is I can for our podcast. I I’m not. Anti-gun uh, I come from a rural area where hunting is an important part of life. I’m not a Hunter, but many people in my family are, I’m not anti-gun but lock them up. Lock them up because you don’t want your kids getting a hold

Todd: of them.

This public service announcement brought to you by to

lock up your chainsaws too, by the way. But

Craig: yeah, I love that idea, but I, I saw, you know, this happened and it’s sad. I felt bad for the kid and like, I felt bad for the dad too. And like the data’s so stoic, like he has, he drags the mom’s body into his little hunting dinner or whatever, and props her up next to the couch that he sits on and he sits there and he has a drink and he gifts and she’s.

Dead. And he gives her a drink of the whiskey and he takes, he takes the sign that the kid had made down in, pins it on her chest. It’s like, Oh my goodness. It’s so silly. And I read that the actress who was cast as the mom. Uh, backed out at the last second for religious reasons.

Todd: What daddy put me? No, she was anti birthday or anti-gun, I don’t know,

Craig: but, um, she backed out at the last minute.

So the, this set caterer stepped in and, uh, the director said that his biggest regret about this film was that he didn’t get an opportunity to. Taste that birthday cake.

You

Todd: kidding me? That’s as big as, Oh, bless this. Man’s heart. I mean, this makes the movie just so charming and cute.

Craig: Yeah. I, I mean, it’s an obvious set up and especially since then it jumps to present day, the eighties or whatever. Ed Jr. The kid is now in college and he’s just hanging out with his college friends in this bar and they’re like lamenting how they don’t have anything to do for fall break.

Fall break, fall break is fall break.

Todd: What does fall break?

Craig: Is it like Thanksgiving?

Todd: Maybe, I don’t know, Arbor day, there’s like a three-day weekend

Craig: fall break. We need to, you know, talk about how they ended up getting to this condo, but we can’t fail to mention the great song. The fall break song written.

That was clearly written for the movie because it references like it’s about the song is about the movie. It’s like fall break, go into this condo. I thought.

Todd: Sure. Doris all left about a month before, and we’re going to have

Craig: a good time.

Todd: In name, dialogue in the bar, it’s been plucked out of every high school sex comedy made in the eighties. Oh, what are we going to do? I don’t know. Well, my dad’s got this condo. He gets a call from his dad and does at the bar, uh, at, just at the time they’re lamenting what they’re going to do fall for fall break.

And it turns out his dad who he hasn’t talked to in ages, and he has nothing but bad things to say about despite the fact, by the way that he killed. His wife. Yeah. I mean, get a little bit of sympathy for your father here. You know, I mean, you seem remarkably well adjusted after all this. No, he’s fine.

Craig: Half a little by, cause it didn’t mess him up at all.

Todd: He has absolutely no regrets about this incident or something, or he is he’s really good at. At compartmentalizing. Well, what’s

Craig: the problem. You let the man talk. He wants me to close up his condom in the winter. Oh, that sounds like work. Well, what’s the matter big, strong you afraid of a little work.

Oh, he just has to save his strength for more important things. Right? I mean, all my life, the creeps ignored me, treated me like some red headed bastard. I’m sorry. Now all of a sudden he calls me up and asked. We didn’t do something.

Todd: Oh, that sounds great. Sounds like we have a new plan. Let’s go to the beach.

And then the song kicks in  far break.

Craig: Not before, not before ed says I got a bad feeling about this.

Todd: down the highway, you get a convertible and it’s Heidi dodging. The cops goofing off goofy route jumps out of the car and peas in a field. Ooh, that’s hilarious. Cops 

Craig: ditch him. They’re like

Todd: so goofy. I had to stop. I literally stopped the movie and went back to be. Am I really watching the muda later or is this

Craig: cause they, they, when they changed the title of the movie, they didn’t even change the title card.

You know, like the title card still says fall break and fall break theme song. Like I really don’t even understood. Okay. So I guess what happened was, um, they made the movie and it went through the NPAA and it was getting to get an X rating for Gore and they didn’t want it. That, because at the time the X rating was heavily associated with porn and they didn’t want that association.

So they decided to release it unrated, but by releasing it on rated, it had a very limited release and didn’t do well at all. So the following year they, uh, edited it. Not very much. I mean like seconds, they took out. A number of seconds of, of the Gore effects and they released it again still under the title and it got a wider release, but it didn’t really do any better.

Than the first time. And so I guess when they released it on video, they decided to change. I read they changed it for marketing purposes. What does that mean? I don’t like, I don’t know. I understand some movie that nobody saw it initially. You’re just going to change the name and think that’s going to make a difference and not even bother to change the.

Title card. I

Todd: don’t know. Well, I mean, to be fair or a movie called spring break, sounds like, you know, Rodney Dangerfield is edit or something like that, and it’s just going to be some goofy comedy, which is what this movie appears to be for. Like the first 30 minutes. Yeah.

Craig: We’ll, we’ll have to watch a movie.

Called spring break sometime. Cause that’s not what this one’s called.

Todd: Oh my God. There’s no such thing. Yeah. Yes sir. I know. I’m just giving you crap.

So yeah. You know, so, I mean, I understand like the mutilators sounds like a movie we would watch fall break does not sound like two guys in a chainsaw

Craig: that makes sense. It had more. Shelf appeal. That makes sense. Video store shelf appeal the mute later. That sounds a lot more, yeah. Intriguing then fall break.

They, they haven’t yet get to the condo. Okay. There’s a stupid scene that I didn’t really understand the purpose of where Ralph, the goofy one like goes into BICE and beer and thinks he tricks the. Store clerk into giving him a discount, but then the store clerks just make fun of him. And that was some terrible.

That was the only acting that I,

Todd: by the way, terrible at time dubbing. Oh,

Craig: it was almost charmingly bad.

Todd: And it’s really throws you off for a loop because once again, it’s just sets you up for this movie that it’s not going to beat, which is probably why they ended fricking change the title. You watch a movie called spring break or fall break.

Excuse me. You watch a movie called fall break. You go to the drive in and you start watching the first 30 minutes of this. And you’ll probably start running back looking for a refund because you’re like, I came in here to see a horror movie, and this is like the worst. So-called comedy is it wouldn’t have lived up to expectations by that point.

Thankfully they get to the condo and while they’re at the condo, ed gives them a tour. So I mean, the characters are ed and his girlfriend, Pam, who we learn. And are repeatedly reminded that she’s the Virgin. That was so frustrating. Oh my God. Right.

Craig: I literally have, in my notes, Pam won’t fuck for unexplained reasons. They make like, they make a huge deal

Todd: out of it. Oh my God. Repeatedly. And then there’s a huge scene where she lays it out. For ed, once again, as they’re sitting on the bed, 

Craig: we have a deal, buddy, and I’m holding you to it. Come on. You know how I feel about you?

I want to, I really do he know that, but I’m just not going to some other time maybe, but not here and not

Todd: now God, come on. Lighten up Pam.

Craig: Well, but she, she doesn’t even give any reasons or anything. Okay. Now, to be fair, you don’t have to explain yourself if you don’t want to be intimate with somebody, that’s your choice.

It’s your choice? Like why is the movie making such a big deal out of it?

Todd: They’re projecting. I think they’re projecting that she’s going to be the final girl. Just as much as they are. They have projected the killer. There’s no question who the killer is in this movie,

Craig: by the way. No, there is him from the beginning.

That is

Todd: the weirdest thing. And there are no red herrings. There’s no twists. There’s nothing. It’s like, yeah, Ed’s dad is the killer and we don’t even really understand why, but anyway he is. And that’s the end.

Craig: I mean, we understand why, I guess he’s

Todd: crazy because his wife died. Right.

Craig: And he has these weird fantasies.

About killing his son. Like at the time, like he has a fantasy like it at first he like strangles him and holds him up in the air and then he shoots him, I think. And then he slits his throat. Like he’s fantasizing about all these ways he can kill his son. Obviously he’s been traumatized and damaged by the death.

Death of his wife, but why now? And why kill all of his friends? First, those

Todd: poor guys,

Craig: it seems to me, they

Todd: were just out to help. He’s the one who asked for them to come out of winter as the cabin, let’s clean his house poor way to show your appreciation, at least wait until they have quote, poured antifreeze into the plumbing.

Which is not a thing either. This was one of the list of things that he’s supposed to do. Don’t do that guys. Don’t watch this movie and think you’re supposed to pour antifreeze in your plumbing. If you’re worried about your plumbing in the winter time, just keep the hot water heater on. Keep the heat in your house on.

You’ll be fine. Maybe drip your faucets. Oh my

Craig: God. I feel like there were several things that people said that I’m like, what, what are you talking about? That’s not a thing.

Todd: I don’t remember anything like that. Like fall break,

Craig: like fall break and they go there and like the house looks like. A frat party had been held there the night before.

Like there are booze bottles everywhere, but there’s this hilarious scene where they’re looking around and like, there are hunting trophies everywhere. And ed Jr says, yeah, dad used to tell me I’ve hunted everything, but man, okay. Of the hunting trophies is a framed picture of a mutilated. Dead man. The dad had run over with his boat.

Like it’s framed picture. Nobody even thinks that’s weird.

Todd: And they’re like, Oh, that’s a distinct what’s what else is on the wall? But what is, it’s like a little metal, tiny little metal pyramid or something. I don’t know what that was in there. It must be some weird Southern thing or something like ed tells a story of how.

Right. His dad was drunk with his friends one time and they decided to throw these at the wall and his dad one. And so then he just stuck a frame on the wall, around the spot where they played this

Craig: game. Right. Where like this spiky thing had stuck in the wall. Yeah. I mean, it it’s a set up there, you know, there’s kind of payoff for it later, but I had no idea what that thing was.

I have no idea what I’ve never heard of my life. But, but there’s also, uh, a giant gaff hook on display. The, I mean, it just looks like an enormous fishing hook, but it’s the hooks that big fishermen or excuse me, fishermen who fish for big

Todd: fish? Probably. They’re also big too. Yeah.

Craig: Probably it’s what they use to, you know, grab them and pull them into the boat.

But obviously ominous like, Oh, somebody is going to get killed with that later. And then there’s like a Mayan ritual sacrifice mask that they make a big deal out of that has no connection to the plot. Yeah. I read that. That was a setup for a sequel. Oh, I had no idea one. Why they ever thought that there would be a SQL to this movie or.

Where are they plans to go with this Mayan rituals, sacrifice mask? I don’t know. There’s also a place that’s supposed to be. For a battleax, but it’s missing. And they’re like, Oh my gosh. Maybe somebody broke in here and stole it. Call the police. I feel like that’s Pam, the sensible one. And it’s like, no, I’m sure he just took it with him.

It’s his favorite battle?

Todd: Why wouldn’t you take. Why would he take the

Craig: battleax

Todd: he’s not far off, but then

Craig: the dad and no, I know because the dad’s just hiding in the garage. And like, as soon as they talk about the battleax you see him hiding down there, just like holding it, like

Todd: he’s snuggling it. He is like sleeping with the battleax like a woman or a man, depending on what you’re into in, in, in the closet of the basement and, and.

That’s it. Like we see them and I’m thinking, okay, they’ve done all this foreshadowing on the dad and how weird he is and how he’s into all these scary things. And he’s a trophy Hunter and all that. Oh, Ed’s like, they call them trophy hunters, like, okay, thank you. Einstein. And his dad and his dad is in the garage, in the closet, snuggling with a battleax.

Having dreams about killing his son. This is the first like 20 minutes of the movie and I’m thinking, okay, so who’s the real killer. There’s no way that the movie just went all out in the beginning and just slayed all this out for us. But yeah, that’s exactly what the movie well,

Craig: and I was not thinking that I was thinking they, the movie is laying it all out.

Like it’s making everything perfectly obvious and I felt like it had to do that because. Nothing else happens. This is a movie it’s like an hour and 20 something minutes long. I mean, with credits, it’s probably an hour 15, an hour 20. And in the first 25, 30 minutes, nothing happens. Like it’s just them getting there and talking about the dad and we see the dad hiding in the garage.

I’m like, come on. I mean, I guess, you know, we had, the mom got killed in the beginning, but that was an accident. That’s not, you know, a slasher type thing. It’s not until they finally finally get there. And, uh, they’re all in couples. It’s um, ed and Pam, Mike and Linda and Ralph and Sue they’re all couples and Mike and his Linda sneak

Todd: off to the garage to foreshadow all the future murder weapons.

That’s what the scene is. They like systematically go through, open up the closet of the garage. Oh, look at these. Crazy spikes on that. What are you supposed to do?

Craig: All the Neta? Wouldn’t think they’d have to be so shocked with you. I don’t know. Hey, look at this. You don’t think this is what ran over that sucker upstairs.

Do you it’s too small for a ski boat. Yeah. Too small for a ski

Todd: boat. Oh, check out this like spiky thing on here. I wonder what that is. For gosh, I wouldn’t want to be stabbed in the head with that. Literally systematically go through and introduce to us all the things we’re going to see the killer kill people with later.

That’s

Craig: right. That’s right. Every single death is foreshadowed and it’s also like it’s building tension because they just all most find the dad in there before they’re distracted and go off. And then they go off walking down the beach. I have no idea where this was filmed, North Carolina. And I think, I mean, it’s a beach front community.

It looked just like the beach, front vacation spots that I go to with my. Parents. Yeah, my, my, and my whole family, my sister and her kids and stuff, um, in Florida, like with the long peers and just all of these condos lining the beach, uh, it made me want to go on vacation, but not where their vacation killers.

Right. Um, but so then Mike and Linda are just walking around and they find. Uh, green.

It was like a enormous swimming pool, surrounded by like potted plants and trees under an inflated tent. Yeah.

Todd: It was so weird. That was weird. Freely available. Apparently, I don’t know for the public

Craig: or something at a house that was under construction. So I wonder if the pool and all of these plants were like covered.

For construction. I don’t know. I mean, it looks cool. It’s a good setting, uh, for her horror movie and then they get naked. There’s not a lot of nudity in this movie. You don’t see much. You do see Linda’s boobs here in this scene, but I feel like that’s kind of it, they skinny dip and the other couples are looking for them on the beach and we see the dad is watching them.

And then, um, Linda and Mike are playing like, Tag or Marco polo.

Todd: It’s hard to really interpret what this scene is all about because the movie just depends on closeups to sort of mask the fact that this is just two people in Relic in a completely empty pool. That’s brightly lit who are swimming around and ducking under the water and above the water.

And suddenly still having a really hard time finding each other. It’s bizarre. It, the pool itself is lit. I mean, it’s just bizarre. So they’re trying to play this Marco polo game or whatever. And apparently at one point, Mike is under water for 10 seconds and these Linda pops up and these two hands reach up.

From under the water. I don’t know. Like, none of it makes sense. Right. I mean, that’s it, I mean, there’s no way this guy could have been hiding under the water this whole time. Right. They were going to sneak off with her, like he

Craig: does he, okay. So this was supposed to be a Gore effects scene. He was supposed to shoot her with a harpoon from underneath.

Which if you watch it, the cinematography suggests that because she floats up. So like she’s doing like a backflow, like it’s a perfect setup for something to come bursting through her chest, but they couldn’t get the effect. Right. So they just did the drowning, which, you know, works fine. I mean, yeah. It’s just as scary except for the, then, like you said, the killer who’s the dad, we know, carries her up the pool ladder out of the pool and.

Apparently he took off all his clothes because I mean, we don’t see his whole body, but his legs and feet are naked when he’s crawling up out of there. I’m like this other naked dude slipped into this pool with you. And neither of you notice, and the guide didn’t notice when this other dude was lifting her body up, uh, But whatever, it’s fine.

Todd: You just got to grow with it. Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: And the dad takes all of their clothes and like uses them to leave a trail. Like Mike thinks that this is a, some kind of like sexy, gay.

And so he finds his pants and puts them on, but then he’s fighting like her panties and bra and stuff. And though it appeared that they had traveled far away to get to this pool. Mike is immediately led back. To the garage condo there’s panties hanging on a closet door in the garage. And so he thinks she’s in there, which she is, but she said, but he opens it.

And the killer is there with a boat motor like trolling, motor

Todd: Eddie immediately fires up.

Craig: And cuts this guy up with, and this guy, the guy who played Mike, his acting was bad. And he was the only one. He was the only one of these games, young kids that was not into hanging out, sticking around, having fun. I read that he was more concerned about just hanging out on the beach, working on his tan and it looks like it, like, he looks like that guy.

Um, And apparently like he was, he was even dissatisfied with his makeup and insisted on imply applying his makeup himself. And it looks like it, like, it looks like he’s got too much makeup on way too pretty. It’s ridiculous.

Todd: Um, as I learned from my last gig on the movie set, it tends to be the douchey is people who are also the worst actors.

Like it never. Right,

Craig: right. I mean, he’s not a bad looking guy, but I don’t. I think that he was as good looking as he thought he was. What I wrote about this kill is that it was a lame kill, but yeah. Decent Gore effects. Like you see all the slashes and the blood on his chest, the Gore effects throughout are pretty good.

I mean, it’s all practical. There’s a lot of dummy work. Good dummy work. Yeah, I know. I love it. Uh, even when it’s obvious, even when it doesn’t look real, I’ve said it a million times, people are going to get sick of it. I just appreciate the craftsmanship. I appreciate the artistry, the effort that goes into that.

So I liked that. And then the killer hangs up their bodies on those ridiculously sharp. Spikes that are supposed to be for hanging the nets. I thought that he would surely pick them up and like impale their backs. No, he just like sticks it through the back of their heads. They’re just hanging there by their heads.

Todd: I guess the idea is like he’s making trophies, like human trophies in the closet down there. Yeah. But it’s kinda, yeah. And

Craig: that’s, what’s suggested by the cover art too. It is what it is. It’s

Todd: fine. Everybody else goes out, looking for them, but they’re not really looking for them. They’re just kind of hanging out on the beach and then they run into this cop who says, Hey, you know, your kids might want to go inside.

Be careful there’s a storm coming, blah, blah,

Craig: blah. That part was dumb. Like I felt like it was just a setup for another kill, which is fine, but like, God, why is this cop harassing them on the beach? And like, he’s so ominous, like, Oh, Like I’m here to work. You could get struck by lightning onto the beat. And they’re like, okay, thanks, Graham.

Todd: They’re freaked out about it. And they go back, but there’s also kind of a big deal made by ed in the beginning of the movie. When he’s like, yeah, the cops don’t really come out here much. There’s one guy who just like comes out across the bridge, patrols the beach and goes home every day. And I thought, okay, well, that’s like going to be significant.

Like at some point they’re going to try to reach the cops or they’re going to need the cops and they’re not going to be available. It’s it’s really just like setting up this guy, coming in to warn them about being struck by lightning. And then he goes back and he has the weirdest kill, like. Somehow the kids mentioned.

Oh, um, have you seen our friends? Cause they haven’t been here. Uh, and they say something about the house, about how, when they were up there, you know, it seemed like the place had been trashed and the cop says something along the lines wide. I don’t know if I’ve seen anybody up there recently. And so I guess the cop goes back to the house just to kind of double check on things.

Cause instantly he’s back at the house in front of that garage again and he walks around a little bit and then he turns around and it’s the weirdest. It’s like the most awkward stab with a fence post stabs him in the face in the cheek. He looks weird. It was weird, but then he cuts his head off. Yeah. So that part’s cool with an ax there.

Couple beheadings in this movie, just because beheadings are cool. I think. And it’s really gory. You see every little bit

Craig: of it. It’s it’s dummies. Yeah. But they, they look. They look good. I mean, you know, it’s bright red blood. It’s juicy. Like it looks good.

Todd: And then they walk back and Pam talks more about how she’s a Virgin and then they get back in there and they’re like, Oh, well the two are still aren’t here yet.

Blah, blah, blah. Let’s play monopoly. Now let’s play something else. And then another thing that I thought was foreshadowing, Pam gets pissed off at Ralph about something. Ralph the joker and immediately like pull some, my KIDO moves on him and like ends up with him down on the ground. She’s standing over him.

And I thought, okay, so we know Pam’s a Virgin and which she also must have these crazy, like martial arts skills and all this is going to come in handy later, which it didn’t, it’s just more stuff did

Craig: happen. Right. It’s funny because I don’t even. Remember that, and that could have something to do with the fact that while I was watching this, I was like, Looking at Facebook.

I just didn’t feel like I was going to miss much. It’s not necessarily that the movie is boring. And we have said many times that is the Cardinal sin. If a movie is. Boring. Uh, no, no boy, no, but it wasn’t boring. It was just like, yeah. Okay. I get it. I see where you’re going. When somebody starts screaming, I’ll check back in.

I really, I really did watch most of it, but I was a little bit distracted. I didn’t remember that, but. Just such silly stuff. Like, yeah, they play monopoly for awhile. Fun. Ooh. Everybody loves playing monopoly. You know, what’s even more fun than playing monopoly, watching people play monopoly. So they, God, they didn’t stick with that for too much.

But then when they finally get bored with that, then they decide to play blind man’s bluff, which is basically, I guess grown-up hide and seek. We used to call it. Go in the guard, in the graveyard or something like that, it’s basically hide and seek, but you play in the dark and one, the person who’s it hides.

And then everybody else looks for them. And when you find the person, then you just stick and hide with them until there’s only one person left. And then that person is the loser or whatever. I don’t know why I took the time to tell you all of that because it really makes no difference. They, they play.

But I did like. Obviously it’s, it’s not that dark in there because we can see what’s going on. I actually appreciated that because it drives me nuts when movies are so dark that I can’t see what’s going on, but we’re supposed to believe that they can’t really see exactly because while they’re in there, the killer comes in and is looking around and is right in the room with them.

But they just assume that it’s. And because ed is the last one of them, but it’s not, but it’s a nice tense scene, but with no payoff, because then the, the dad, uh, ed senior just leaves and ed Jr. Comes in and finds them. Okay, game over. And then he’s like, what should we do now? And they’re all like, let’s go to bed.

Todd: Then I love that. Um, Pam speaks up as this Pam’s role in this movie to be this person. And it’s like, but you know, I’m still worried about where Mike and Linda are. And I love how Ralph who’s been the goofy guy this whole time turns around to her and starts to have like a serious moment. They’ve

Craig: been gone so long.

Hey, don’t worry about Mike and Linda. They’re just having a good time enjoying each other’s company. You know, it has been a pretty long week for all of us and they’re just relaxing. Okay. All right. Come on.

Todd: Okay. Nevermind. Who cares about Mike and Linda? They all decide to go to

Craig: bed then. So they’re in bed. And Pam’s like, no, Hey, not going to have sex with you. And the guy’s like, okay, whatever. So they just go to sleep. But Ralph and Sue. Are starting to get busy, but she’s like, wait, shouldn’t we lock up. And he’s like, what about Mike and Linda?

And she’s like, Oh, well go find them like what? Like this, I don’t understand on so many levels. First of all, you are college kids on a break at a remote location where they say a hundred thousand times nobody else is there. Like it’s the off season I have gone. On college trips. I don’t recall anyone at any time ever being concerned about locking up and the fact that.

Their two friends are still out there. Like you can’t lock up. Like, what are they going to do when they come home? It’s ridiculous. But she says, well, you know, go find them and get them in so we can lock up and then I’ll show you something. And then there is a completely out of place.

Todd: Benny Hill moment

Craig: sped up, seen of him like getting dressed, like, Oh, I’m going to get to see some movies if I find these people.

So let’s do it in fast frame to show how eager

Todd: I am right with that music behind it. Like Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, blah, blah, blah,

Y Oh. Way to keep the tension up. It’s

Craig: good. Uh, so he goes out, he looks for them. He gets forked through the throat and pinned to the hideout door in the garage,

Todd: just for being annoying. Basically. That’s what

Craig: I, whatever, at this point I felt like, okay, there’s only a few of them left. Let’s get them killed off.

Get to the end. And that’s what they do. Sue goes out, looking for him, Pam here, Sue looking around, wakes up, ed says things wrong. Everybody’s missing nobody’s here. And he’s like, Oh, I’m sure messing around, blah, blah, blah. Eventually Sue, Pam and ed are all together. And, and Pam, the smart one wants to go get help, but Sue’s like, no, we should just look around one last time.

And they’re like, fine. You go off by yourself. We’ll go look. And so Sue, literally. 10 steps away. Turns the corner gets lifted up by the killer by her throat taken into the garage. The gaff hook gets shoved through her Cooter.

Todd: This blew me away. I could not, I was really not expecting this in the movie. Me

Craig: either.

I was like, is this really happening? Like in this movie, through her Cooter up through her abdomen. And then she gets chopped, presumably beheaded, I guess, with the acts.

Todd: Now a lot of these horror movies, especially this forgettable ones go down in history because they had that one scene. You know, that was so crazy and so shocking that that’s all anybody ever talks about.

And I do not understand why this movie is not in that category. I don’t know why more people are not talking about a giant gaff hook being shoved into this woman’s vagina and up through her stomach. Why are we not? Are we, are we just discovering this for the first time? I’m blown away by that. I mean, it was, and it was full on, I mean, like they didn’t leave anything to the imagination here.

You

Craig: see it. And like, is this a morality lesson? Is this because she was the one who was DTF that like, that she gets a hook through the Cooter. I don’t know. Wow.

Todd: They didn’t hang her up by it. So at least that much, you know, that would have given this movie, the notoriety that’s probably, they didn’t go far enough, I guess.

Craig: Uh, some ed and Pam, like they literally just circle the house. So they come back and they find her dead and then they stumble upon all of the other bodies and then the killer shows up. So. Ed locks, Pam in a closet. What, like, what was, what was he thinking? I don’t understand it. Like here I’ll protect you I’ll lock you in this closet so you can’t get out.

Not so that the killer can’t get in because he just like, you know, does the whole Sheva chair up under the door knob thing, but from the outside. So if he gets incapacitated or killed, then she’s just a sitting duck. Like I have no idea. What that was all about. So ed hits his dad with something, but then his dad slapped him in the face, which immediately knocks him out cold.

Mm

Todd: it’s. That childhood trauma,

Craig: I guess Pam somehow gets herself out of the closet and just barely stops the dad from chopping his head off. And somehow in the interim, the dad has also like. Hogtied ed. Yeah, it’s that entire,

Todd: I missed that too. That was like a cut scene or something, but he’s on the floor.

She’s knife the guy in the back and he seems to be out. So she cuts ed loose and they go to the car and they go to try to start it. Now it’s cute because she actually, this was pretty funny. She tries to put him in the front seat, in the driver’s seat. And the first thing I was thinking of, because ed has been stabbed.

Mercilessly and the right leg. I thought what he’s going to drive the car. And he’s like, I can’t drive the car. You need to drive the car. Okay. So she pushes him aside and I thought, Oh, that’s, that’s cute. Like the movie’s not that dumb. And then she gets in and she starts rolling up the windows and locking the doors.

And I’m like, Oh, it’s also not that dumb. But I also knew, well, they’re not gonna be able to start the car. And of course they couldn’t start the car, but this, this scene actually was the most tense scene in the movie. For me. I really liked the scene where they’re stuck in the car and they’re trying to get out and she’s panicked and she’s trying to start, and she’s pumping the gas too much, which is flooding the carburetor.

And it’s like, do you flooded it? We got to wait for a minute. And then. She like tries it again, but then he’s bleeding. And so she kind of bends down. She’s like, well, let me wrap your leg while we’re waiting. And in the background through the windshield, you can kind of see this, this guy walking away, which is totally what you expect is going to happen, but still was cool.

And then he’s like, Oh, turn off the headlights because you know, you’ll save the, the battery and she flickers the headlights and it’s like, um, he’s not there anymore. And at that moment exactly what I was expecting the guys on the roof, trying to stab through convertible top. Yeah, I really liked that seat.

I think it’s the best, most tense scene in the movie, even though, you know, it was predictable. I was just, it was good. She was a good bit. Yeah.

Craig: I thought it was fine. And he’s a, you know, like he cuts open the convertible top and he grabs it by the throat. Pam, who you got to give the girl credit she’s.

Crafty. She, you know, she can take care of herself. She pushes in the car cigarette lighter. I don’t even know if we have any young listeners, but if we do, they may have no idea what we’re talking about.

Todd: Yeah. We used to have these things called cigarette ladders in the cars and you push them in real hot and then you pull them out of

Craig: cigarette with it like red hot.

But what I liked about it was she pushed it in, but. Weighted real life fashion. Like it’s not immediate. You had to wait for that thing to heat up. And so she does, she waits, she pulls it out and she burns his hand and that kind of gets them away for a little bit. And then she finally gets the car started.

Right. Cops show up for unexplained reasons, unless maybe they’re concerned about the dead cop. I’m not sure

Todd: because he did call in and say where he was. So, I mean, if they hadn’t reported it for a while, they might be coming out to see what’s going. Yeah.

Craig: So they show up there in the background. Um, but meanwhile, this guy is still trying to get at them through the roof.

So Sue. Gets the car started and swerves it around so that the guy, the killer is kind of on the back, she puts it in reverse and floors it and backs into a wall, which crushes the dad, which would have been enough, but I’m glad they went there extra mile and just had it cut him. Right.

Todd: But then

Craig: what’s his name? Ed Jr. Like looks back and he goes, Jesus Christ. That’s my dad.

Todd: I know. I was like, did he just now realize that?

Craig: No, I don’t even think it was a realization. I think he knew it was his dad. I think it was just like, Holy shit. You just cut my dad.

So the dad is lying there into. Pieces like legs somewhere else, torso over here. And a cop walks up and the torso wakes up and with his ax chops, the cop’s leg off, and then he dies. Oh my God. I thought that was so funny.  chopped in half, but his torso still chopped that cop’s leg off. And then it cuts it.

It just cuts to ed and Pam in the hospital. And which is totally unnecessary. Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. I mean, it’s just to establish that. They’re fine. I guess. I mean, he’s in like a hospital robe, he’s been treated for his injuries. She’s just hanging out wistfully and you know, they look at each other and smile the end, but, um, but then in the end credits roll and it’s bloopers.

Yeah.

Todd: Still thinks it’s like an 80 sex comedy because the end credits roll back up and it’s like, It’s fall break for heartbreak. And it’s, it’s those classic like ed credits where it like shows the actors names again, and then outtakes from the movie. Like when the actors are like in a smiling and it’s in a serious scene or whatever.

Craig: Right into camera. Right.

Todd: So cute. You know, I mean, it’s totally off topic.

Craig: The first one they show is of that fantasy scene, where the guy is holding the kid up by his neck and like they’re all serious and the kid is scared and then they just both start laughing.

I like it. I am a sucker for in credits, bloopers and outtakes. So I thought it was.

Todd: And then in my case, anyway, it said next up, you know, Amazon prime wanted to serve me up which board, which yeah. That was about right. I mean sure, sure. About right. That about fit the whole tone of this movie. Oh my God. The movie was so.

Like I said before, it’s completely textbook standard slash or movie utterly predictable to a fault. Like they didn’t try to hide anything, really good Gore effects, but silly, silly situations. And the acting was horrible. I’m sorry, Cray. But the acting was really horrible and that made it fun. Like, you know, it was, again, this was.

Very much. One of those, watch it with a group of people so bad. It’s good movies really enjoyed watching it, even though when you’re watching it by yourself, it’s pretty boring.

Craig: Yeah, it is. That’s true. But that’s the thing, like I. Have been enjoying recently finding these more obscure movies that I didn’t happen to see when I was a kid.

Um, I I’m super nostalgic for this time period, and I very much enjoy going back and revisiting those movies that I’ve seen. Um, but there’s also something to be said for. You know, seeing something that I missed and it’s new, it’s new to me, it has all of the familiarity of those movies that I enjoyed when I was a kid, but I’ve not seen it before.

So there is novelty to it. And this is one of those. It’s not a great movie, but I’m still happy to have come across it. I’m happy to have seen it. I’m happy to be here. Table two in casual conversation, referenced these obscure movies that most people don’t know. How about it’s, it’s fun for, you know, you and I are hard.

Fans. And so I think that people like us will enjoy something like this. Um, it’s not something, if I were trying to introduce somebody to horror, if I were trying to, you know, like, Somebody like my partner, who’s not big into horror. I wouldn’t have him watch this movie. It’s not good. I would pick something better, you know, uh, to expose him to, but I enjoyed it.

It was silly. It was mindless. It was fun. It was not a great movie. It wasn’t even really a good movie, but it was an easy. Casual watch. And, and for those folks like us who enjoy this kind of stuff, I’d say, yeah, get, check it out. Why not? Yeah. I mean, you’ve got time.

Todd: It’s only an hour, 24 minutes anyway. And it’s nice to know, like you said that these kind of movies are still out there for us to discover, you know, we feel like we might have seen it all and know, like there’s actually a long list of this same shit that we haven’t seen that we can’t wait to see.

So thank you, Dave, for a dredging, another one out from the muck for us to, uh, to enjoy and goof on. It was really fun. Yeah.

right. Thank you again for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend. You can find us online on our website to guys are red 40 net.com or leave us a message there or go to our Facebook page or our Twitter account. And just let us know what you thought of this film.

Dig up a few more of these fun 80 slackers for us. We can’t get enough of them, really. If you know a really good one, let us know and we’ll be sure to do it. Coming up until then I am Todd and I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.


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